Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
by Abraham Lincoln

When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
- Abraham Lincoln

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell,
it is simply purgatory.
- Abraham Lincoln

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea;
but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
- Abraham Lincoln

The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln


 

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

Hold on with a bulldog grip,
and chew and choke as much as possible.
- Abraham Lincoln

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert,
to fleece the people.
- Abraham Lincoln

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln

Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
- Abraham Lincoln

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln

How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln

Avoid popularity if you would have peace.
- Abraham Lincoln

Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)

In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln

The philosophy of the school room in one generation
will be the philosophy of government in the next.
- Abraham Lincoln

I have always found that mercy bears
richer fruits than strict justice.
- Abraham Lincoln

I don't like that man.
I must get to know him better.
- Abraham Lincoln

The best way to destroy an enemy
is to make him a friend.
- Abraham Lincoln

If there is anything that a man can do well,
I say let him do it. Give him a chance.
- Abraham Lincoln

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
- Abraham Lincoln

To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men.
- Abraham Lincoln

Important principles may, and must, be inflexible.
- Abraham Lincoln

The people themselves, and not their servants,
can safely reverse their own deliberate decisions.
- Abraham Lincoln

I never had a policy;
I have just tried to do my very best each and every day.
- Abraham Lincoln

I am a firm believer in the people.
If given the truth, they can be depended upon
to meet any national crisis.
The great point is to bring them the real facts.
- Abraham Lincoln

If I had eight hours to chop down a tree,
I'd spend six hours sharpening my ax.
- Abraham Lincoln

I don't know who my grandfather was;
I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be.
- Abraham Lincoln

When I am getting ready to reason with a man,
I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself
and what I am going to say
and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say.
- Abraham Lincoln

If you look for the bad in people
expecting to find it, you surely will.
- Abraham Lincoln

I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends.
- Abraham Lincoln

The time comes upon every public man
when it is best for him to keep his lips closed.
- Abraham Lincoln

I will prepare and some day my chance will come.
- Abraham Lincoln

My dream is of a place and a time where America
will once again be seen as the last best hope of earth.
- Abraham Lincoln

Fourscore and seven years ago
our fathers brought forth on this continent,
a new nation, conceived in Liberty,
and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
- Abraham Lincoln

A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.
- Abraham Lincoln

I want it said of me by those who knew me best,
that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower
where I thought a flower would grow.
- Abraham Lincoln

Public sentiment is everything.
With public sentiment, nothing can fail.
Without it, nothing can succeed.
- Abraham Lincoln

The ballot is stronger than the bullet.
- Abraham Lincoln

I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me.
They have clung to me all my life.
- Abraham Lincoln

The people will save their government,
if the government itself will allow them.
- Abraham Lincoln

I do the very best I know how -
the very best I can;
and I mean to keep on doing so until the end.
- Abraham Lincoln

We should be too big to take offense
and too noble to give it.
- Abraham Lincoln

A house divided against itself cannot stand.
- Abraham Lincoln

You have to do your own growing
no matter how tall your grandfather was.
- Abraham Lincoln

What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
- Abraham Lincoln

These men ask for just the same thing,
fairness, and fairness only.
This, so far as in my power,
they, and all others, shall have.
- Abraham Lincoln

The best way to get a bad law repealed
is to enforce it strictly.
- Abraham Lincoln

America will never be destroyed from the outside.
If we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves.
- Abraham Lincoln

I do not think much of a man who is
not wiser today than he was yesterday.
- Abraham Lincoln

All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.
- Abraham Lincoln

You cannot build character and courage by
taking away a man's initiative and independence.
- Abraham Lincoln

If once you forfeit the confidence of your fellow-citizens,
you can never regain their respect and esteem.
- Abraham Lincoln

Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.
- Abraham Lincoln

Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.
- Abraham Lincoln

Stand with anybody that stands right,
stand with him while he is right
and part with him when he goes wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln

My great concern is not whether you have failed,
but whether you are content with your failure.
- Abraham Lincoln


Thank you for visiting: When you have got an elephant by the hind legs by Abraham Lincoln.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.