Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer. ...
by Tom Lehrer

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer PHOTO

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch


 

If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous

Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder

The length of this document defends it well
against the risk of its being read.
- Winston Churchill

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

You may as well laugh at life,
because it's certainly laughing at you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau

Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

Trust your own inner guidance.
Have faith that your steps are
carrying you toward your dreams.
Keep your eyes on the heavens
and believe that your feet will carry you well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A well-developed sense of humor
is the pole that adds balance to your steps,
as you walk the tightrope of life.
- William Arthur Ward

Life is a dangerous - ultimately fatal - endeavor,
so you may as well live it full out.
Chart your course, cast off the lines,
and boldly sail the seas of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Imagine for yourself a character,
a model personality whose example you determine to follow,
in private as well as in public.
- Epictetus

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

Never trust a man who speaks well of everybody
- John Churton Collins

Hatred is blind, as well as love.
- Oscar Wilde

Live Well, Love Much, Laugh Often.
- Anonymous

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Being angry harms your physical,
emotional, and spiritual well-being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Hold on... Joyfully.
Holding-on does not have to be
a desperate teeth-gritting kind of holding-on.
Holding-on can be a joyful
"this is just the nature of Life,
so I may as well enjoy it"
kind of holding-on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The simplification of life is one of the steps to inner peace.
A persistent simplification will create an inner and outer well-being
that places harmony in one's life.
- Peace Pilgrim

Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Well-behaved women seldom make history.
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Treat the earth well.
It was not given to you by your parents,
it was loaned to you by your children.
We do not inherit the Earth from our Ancestors,
we borrow it from our Children.
- Native American traditional

If there is anything that a man can do well,
I say let him do it. Give him a chance.
- Abraham Lincoln

To live is to choose. But to choose well,
you must know who you are and what you stand for,
where you want to go and why you want to get there.
- Kofi Annan

It is well to remember that the
entire population of the universe,
with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
- Andrew J. Holmes

It is not enough to have a good mind,
the main thing is to use it well.
- Rene Descartes

I distrust those people who know so well
what God wants them to do,
because I notice it always coincides
with their own desires.
- Susan B. Anthony

The best friend is the man who in wishing me well
wishes it for my sake.
- Anonymous

Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength
which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there.
- Marcus Aurelius

The hardest of all, is learning to be
a well of affection, and not a fountain,
to show them that we love them,
not when we feel like it, but when they do.
- Nan Fairbrother

All's well that ends well.
- Proverb (and title of a Shakespeare play)

That some achieve great success,
is proof to all that others can achieve it as well.
- Abraham Lincoln

Those who can win a war well can rarely make a good peace
and those who could make a good peace
would never have won the war.
- Winston Churchill

Appreciation is a wonderful thing.
It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.
- Voltaire

Life should not be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming, "Wow! What a Ride!"
- Hunter S. Thompson

If there is any one secret of success,
it lies in the ability to get
the other person's point of view
and see things from that person's angle
as well as from your own.
- Henry Ford

Good men must not obey the laws too well.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

As a well-spent day brings happy sleep,
so a life well spent brings happy death.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Rights that do not flow from duty
well performed are not worth having.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

There is no point at which you can say,
"Well, I'm successful now.
I might as well take a nap."
- Carrie Fisher

The part can never be well unless the whole is well.
- Plato

Nothing is ever going to work out the way you want,
so you may as well choose to want the way life does work out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whenever the people are well-informed,
they can be trusted with their own government.
- Thomas Jefferson

You are defined by your habits - choose well.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you want something to be different than it is,
you might as well teach a cat to bark.
Wanting something to be different than it is, is hopeless.
- Byron Katie

Well, when you come down to it,
I don't see that a reporter could do much to a president, do you?
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing,
and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect.
- George Bernard Shaw

It is better to travel well than to arrive.
- The Buddha

The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing,
we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger,
but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.
- Robert Cushing

If you want reality to be different than it is,
you might as well try to teach a cat to bark.
- Byron Katie

Have the will to be well, to be happy, and to live in joy.
- Ernest Holmes

One may as well dam for water tanks
the people's cathedrals and churches,
for no holier temple has ever
been consecrated by the heart of man.
- John Muir

How many things there are concerning which we might
well deliberate whether we had better know them.
- Henry David Thoreau

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement.
But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr

To the well-organized mind,
death is but the next great adventure.
- J. K. Rowling

A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life is not about how fast you run
or how high you climb
but how well you bounce.
- Vivian Komori

I was losing interest in politics,
when the repeal of the Missouri Compromise aroused me again.
What I have done since then is pretty well known.
- Abraham Lincoln

No face which we can give to a matter
will stead us so well at last as the truth.
This alone wears well.
- Henry David Thoreau


Thank you for visiting: Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer. ... by Tom Lehrer.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.