Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


If the person you are talking to doesn't appear ...
by A. A. Milne

If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient.
It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

That's what Tiggers do best!
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh) PHOTO

You never can tell with bees.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing,
of just going along,
listening to all the things you can't hear,
and not bothering.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)


 

"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

"How do you spell 'love'?" asked Piglet.
"You don't spell it...you feel it." answered Pooh.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

A quotation is a handy thing to have about,
saving one the trouble of thinking for oneself.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

"Sometimes," said Pooh, "the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone
what you are looking for before you begin looking for it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart,
it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

We'll be friends until forever, just you wait and see.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

One of the advantages of being disorganized is that
one is always having surprising discoveries.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you.
You have to go to them sometimes.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

When you see someone putting on his Big Boots,
you can be pretty sure that an Adventure is going to happen.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words
but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness;
however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

To the uneducated an A is just three sticks.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge
and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you,
you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The things that make me different are the things that make me.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart for so long.
If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand.
"I just wanted to be sure of you."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

"I wonder what Piglet is doing," thought Pooh.
"I wish I were there to be doing it, too."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

It is awfully hard to be brave, when you're only a Very Small Animal.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

"We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?" asked Piglet.
"Even longer," Pooh answered.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would, I'd never leave.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Some people care too much. I think it's called love.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

If you live to be a hundred,
I want to live to be a hundred minus one day,
so I never have to live without you.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I don't see much sense in that," said Rabbit.
"No," said Pooh humbly, "there isn't.
But there was going to be when I began it.
It's just that something happened to it along the way."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The hardest part is what to leave behind, ... It's time to let go!
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

You are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together...
there is something you must always remember.
You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.
But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...
I'll always be with you.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community,
and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
- Mark Twain
(paraphrase)

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

And you, Sonja, you look more beautiful
standing here than you do in person.
- the movie Love and Death (1975)

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Credit is a system whereby a person who can't pay
gets another person who can't pay
to guarantee that he can pay.
- Charles Dickens

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin

A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde

Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous

Jealousy is that pain which a man feels
from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved
by the person whom he entirely loves.
- Joseph Addison

A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

There is an optical illusion about every person we meet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody,
I think that is a much greater hunger,
a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
- Mother Teresa

If one does not understand a person,
one tends to regard him as a fool.
- Carl Jung

An unclean person is universally a slothful one.
- Henry David Thoreau

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

We know what a person thinks not when he tells us
what he thinks, but by his actions.
- Isaac Bashevis Singe

A person who trusts no one can't be trusted.
- Jerome Blattner

Truth is absolute, but only to one person.
My truth is absolute to me, and your truth is absolute to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Good for who? Good for what?
There is no absolute "good."
"Good" is simply one person's preference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Thank you for visiting: If the person you are talking to doesn't appear ... by A. A. Milne.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.