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People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry
The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry
No matter what happens, someone will find a way
to take it too seriously.
- Dave Barry
Your friends love you anyway.
- Dave Barry
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Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
- Dave Barry
You should not confuse your career with your life.
- Dave Barry
A person who is nice to you,
but rude to the waiter,
is not a nice person.
- Dave Barry
When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives a solution
and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Dave Barry
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
- Mark Twain
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis
The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett
Always do the right thing.
It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain
Join the army. Visit strange and exotic places.
Meet fascinating people. And kill them.
- Anonymous
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
The whole problem with the world is that
fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,
but wiser people so full of doubts.
- Bertrand Russell
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Thinking is what most people resort to after all else fails.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people
by the people for the people.
- Oscar Wilde
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain
Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.
- Albert Schweitzer
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers
You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott
The most important service rendered
by the press and the magazines
is that of educating people
to approach printed matter with distrust.
- Samuel Butler
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
Most of what we call management consists of
making it difficult for people to get their work done.
- Peter F. Drucker
People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates
People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- Anonymous
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
History is the version of past events
that people have decided to agree upon.
- Napoleon Bonaparte
Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek
"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll
Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.