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One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde 
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde
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Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde
Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
I am so clever that sometimes I don't
understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
In all matters of opinion,
our adversaries are insane.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
Familiarity breeds consent.
- Oscar Wilde
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde
By giving us the opinions of the uneducated,
journalism keeps us in touch
with the ignorance of the community.
- Oscar Wilde
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
- Oscar Wilde
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people
by the people for the people.
- Oscar Wilde
Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde
The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
- Oscar Wilde
Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
- Oscar Wilde
Hatred is blind, as well as love.
- Oscar Wilde
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live,
it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
- Oscar Wilde
I always like to know everything about my new friends,
and nothing about my old ones.
- Oscar Wilde
The value of an idea has nothing whatsoever
to do with the sincerity of the man who expresses it.
- Oscar Wilde
Who, being loved, is poor?
- Oscar Wilde
The smallest act of kindness
is worth more than the grandest intention.
- Oscar Wilde
An idea that is not dangerous is
unworthy of being called an idea at all.
- Oscar Wilde
Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend,
but it requires a very fine nature
to sympathize with a friend's success.
- Oscar Wilde
Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship,
and it is far the best ending for one.
- Oscar Wilde
A mask tells us more than a face.
- Oscar Wilde
Everything popular is wrong.
- Oscar Wilde
A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.
- Oscar Wilde
If a friend of mine gave a feast, and did not invite me to it,
I should not mind a bit.
but if a friend of mine had a sorrow
and refused to allow me to share it,
I should feel it most bitterly.
If he shut the doors of the house of mourning against me,
I would move back again and again and beg to be admitted
so that I might share in what I was entitled to share.
If he thought me unworthy, unfit to weep with him,
I should feel it as the most poignant humiliation.
- Oscar Wilde
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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