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No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing,
and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect.
- George Bernard Shaw
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
My way of joking is telling the truth;
that is the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw
A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
- George Bernard Shaw
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We don't stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing.
- George Bernard Shaw 
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- George Bernard Shaw
Write your Sad times in Sand,
Write your Good times in Stone.
- George Bernard Shaw
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw
You see things and you say, Why?
But I dream things that never were and say, Why not
- George Bernard Shaw
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of,
he always declares that it's his duty.
- George Bernard Shaw
Life isn't about finding yourself.
Life is about creating yourself.
- George Bernard Shaw
In this world there is always danger
for those who are afraid of it.
- George Bernard Shaw
The worst sin toward our fellow creatures
is not to hate them,
but to be indifferent to them:
that's the essence of inhumanity.
- George Bernard Shaw
Do not do unto others
as you expect they should do unto you.
Their tastes may not be the same.
- George Bernard Shaw
Beware of false knowledge;
it is more dangerous than ignorance.
- George Bernard Shaw
Progress is impossible without change,
and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
- George Bernard Shaw
The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.
- George Bernard Shaw
Life is no brief candle to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch
which I have got a hold of for the moment,
and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible
before handing it on to future generations.
- George Bernard Shaw
Better keep yourself clean and bright;
you are the window through which
you must see the world.
- George Bernard Shaw
All great truths begin as blasphemies.
- George Bernard Shaw
People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are.
I don't believe in circumstances.
The people who get on in the world are the people who
get up and look for the circumstances they want,
and if they can't find them, make them.
- George Bernard Shaw
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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