Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Men have always detested women's gossip
by Erica Jong

Men have always detested women's gossip
because they suspect the truth:
their measurements are being taken and compared.
- Erica Jong

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong PHOTO


 

Gossip is the opiate of the oppressed.
- Erica Jong

He who can take advice is sometimes superior
to him who can give it.
- Erica Jong

Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame.
- Erica Jong


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


I have accepted fear as a part of life -
specifically the fear of change...
I have gone ahead despite the pounding
in the heart that says: turn back.
- Erica Jong

If you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
- Erica Jong

The trouble is,
if you don't risk anything,
you risk even more.
- Erica Jong

Driving me away is easier than saying goodbye.
- Erica Jong

Hate generalizes; love is particular.
- Erica Jong

Solitude is considered un-American.
- Erica Jong

Betrayal betrays the betrayer.
- Erica Jong

Friends love misery, in fact.
Sometimes, especially if we are too lucky
or too successful or too pretty,
our misery is the only thing that endears us to our friends.
- Erica Jong

Love gives without taking
- Erica Jong

Love is serene and calm
- Erica Jong

The best slave does not need to be beaten. She beats herself.
- Erica Jong

The trick is not how much pain you feel -
but how much joy you feel
- Erica Jong

My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes,
I want to go home and screw; After the first twenty minutes,
I never want to screw again as long as I live
- Erica Jong

No one ever found wisdom without also being a fool.
Writers, alas, have to be fools in public,
while the rest of the human race can cover its tracks.
- Erica Jong

Because I loved myself, I was loved.
- Erica Jong

In a bad marriage, friends are the invisible glue.
If we have enough friends, we may go on for years,
intending to leave, talking about leaving -
instead of actually getting up and leaving.
- Erica Jong

If sex and creativity are often
seen by dictators as subversive activities,
it's because they lead to the knowledge
that you own your own body
(and with it your own voice), and that's
the most revolutionary insight of all.
- Erica Jong

Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau

The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau

In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Marilyn Monroe

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

The means by which we live have outdistanced
the ends for which we live.
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Force always attracts men of low morality.
- Albert Einstein

My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
- George Washington

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

It has always been a mystery to me
how men can feel themselves honored
by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

When It's Darkest, Men See the Stars.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

While civilization has been improving our houses,
it has not equally improved
the men who are to inhabit them.
It has created palaces, but it was
not so easy to create noblemen and kings.
- Henry David Thoreau

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully
as when they do it from religious conviction.
- Blaise Pascal

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

Every kind of peaceful cooperation among men
is primarily based on mutual trust
and only secondarily on institutions
such as courts of justice and police.
- Albert Einstein

Who never walks save where he sees
men's tracks, makes no discoveries.
- J. G. Holland

It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
- Henry David Thoreau

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard

It takes time to persuade men to do even
what is for their own good.
- Thomas Jefferson

The revelation of thought takes men
out of servitude into freedom.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy

My heart bleeds at the death of every one of our gallant men.
- Robert E. Lee

I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Many men go fishing all of their lives
without knowing that it is not fish they are after.
- Henry David Thoreau

A nation or civilization that
continues to produce soft-minded men
purchases its own spiritual death
on the installment plan.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The politician in my country seeks votes,
affection and respect, in that order.
With few notable exceptions,
they are simply men who want to be loved.
- Edward R. Murrow


Thank you for visiting: Men have always detested women's gossip by Erica Jong.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sign-up for your free subscription to my Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email.

Your E-Mail Address:
Your Name:

To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you.

Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way.


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.