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Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
by Rita Rudner

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner PHOTO

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner


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Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner


 

There is more of good nature than of good sense
at the bottom of most marriages.
- Henry David Thoreau

Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens
reflect the kind of care they get.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
- Winston Churchill

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
- Oscar Wilde

Every hero becomes a bore at last.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
- Isaac Asimov

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years
to have breakfast together,
but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
- Winston Churchill

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore

Grin your smile; giggle your laugh; unfurl your joy;
dash the last trace of your self-consciousness;
and cavort your most uninhibited play.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth -
look at the dying man's struggle at his last extremity,
and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus
could be intended for enjoyment.
- Soren Kierkegaard

In boundless love as a Christian and as a man
I read through the passage which tells us
how the Lord at last rose in His might
and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple
the brood of vipers and of adders.
- Adolf Hitler

A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

I've learned that you should always
leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
- Anonymous

Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect.
If it's not based on respect,
nothing that appears to be good will last very long.
- Amy Grant

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

We have the power to make this the best generation of mankind
in the history of the world or to make it the last.
- John F. Kennedy

In rivers, the water that you touch
is the last of what has passed
and the first of that which comes;
so with present time.
- Leonardo da Vinci

People often say that motivation doesn't last.
Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.
- Zig Ziglar

Non-violence is the first article of my faith.
It is also the last article of my creed.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

"Good morning!" he said at last.
"We don't want any adventures here, thank you!
You might try over The Hill or across The Water."
- J. R. R. Tolkien

Habits are cobwebs at first, cables at last.
- Chinese proverb

Never say or do anything you wouldn't want
to be the last thing you ever said or did.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The strongest reason for the people
to retain the right to keep and bear arms is,
as a last resort, to protect themselves
against tyranny in government.
- Thomas Jefferson

My dream is of a place and a time where America
will once again be seen as the last best hope of earth.
- Abraham Lincoln

Tough times never last but tough people do.
- Robert H. Schuller

No face which we can give to a matter
will stead us so well at last as the truth.
This alone wears well.
- Henry David Thoreau

When was the last time you took
a different route to work ... just because?
Consider shaking up your life a little (or a lot) ...
for no reason, except to do it.
Let your life be an adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Look at everything as though you were seeing it
either for the first or last time.
Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.
- Betty Smith

Forgive and give as if it were your last opportunity.
Love like there's no tomorrow, and if tomorrow comes, love again.
- Max Lucado

If patience is worth anything,
it must endure to the end of time.
And a living faith will last
in the midst of the blackest storm.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Most people give up just when
they're about to achieve success.
They quit on the one yard line.
They give up at the last minute of the game,
one foot from a winning touch down.
- Ross Perot

Today is the first and last day of forever.
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile,
hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston Churchill

The school is the last expenditure upon which America
should be willing to economize.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Nothing is at last sacred, but the integrity of your own mind.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You have a row of dominoes set up;
you knock over the first one,
and what will happen to the last one
is that it will go over very quickly.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Endings: sometimes a season of sorrow and grief.
Endings: what must precede new beginnings.
Life is an endless cycle of endings and beginnings.
Renewal and rebirth cannot occur without endings -
as the new year's crop can only be planted and flourish
in the decay of last year.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I can not believe that war
is the best solution.
No one won the last war,
and no one will win the next war.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Who were you before you put yourself last.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

During his training, a baseball player strives
to make each swing better than the last.
The repetition of a faulty swing would be worse than useless.
It would ingrain bad habits.
The same is true of emotional responses.
If we allow ourselves to continue to have the same angry responses,
we just entrench our anger habit.
But if we strive - through consciousness, visualization, and coaching -
to moderate our anger response,
over time, we can train ourselves to respond
to events as we choose - without anger.
You can't magically be free from anger tomorrow,
but you can put yourself on your own training program
that will reduce the frequency and intensity
of your anger response day by day, year by year.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Well, it seems to me that the best relationships -
the ones that last -
are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship.
You know, one day you look at the person
and you see something more than you did the night before.
Like a switch has been flicked somewhere.
And the person who was just a friend is...
suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.
- Dana Scully

I have treated many hundreds of patients.
Among those in the second half of life -
that is to say, over 35 -
there has not been one whose problem in the last resort
was not that of finding a religious outlook on life.
- Carl Jung

All endeavor calls for the ability
to tramp the last mile,
shape the last plan, endure the last hours toil.
The fight to the finish spirit is the one...
characteristic we must posses
if we are to face the future as finishers.
- Henry David Thoreau

Do you not know that there comes a midnight hour
when every one has to throw off his mask?
Do you believe that life will always let itself be mocked?
Do you think you can slip away a little before midnight
in order to avoid this? Or are you not terrified by it?
I have seen men in real life who so long deceived others
that at last their true nature could not reveal itself;...
In every man there is something which to a certain degree
prevents him from becoming perfectly transparent to himself;
and this may be the case in so high a degree,
he may be so inexplicably woven into relationships of life
which extend far beyond himself that he almost cannot reveal himself.
But he who cannot reveal himself cannot love,
and he who cannot love is the most unhappy man of all.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Forgiveness is not a one time thing.
Forgiveness must be practiced again and again in different ways
because we may find many dimensions to the wrongs we have suffered.
Bitterness and resentment are like weeds that can continue to pop up
until we have plucked out the last plant by its roots
and extinguished the last seed.
We must carefully tend the garden of our mind and soul,
lest we be overrun by the weeds of bitterness and regret.
- Carly Foster

I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter

Join the army. Visit strange and exotic places.
Meet fascinating people. And kill them.
- Anonymous

Know that the greatest fear is fear of the unknown.
Seek to meet the unknown with courage and a sense of adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

Life will not meet your expectations -
choose joy anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't be dismayed by good-byes.
A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.
- Richard Bach

There is an optical illusion about every person we meet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You always..." and "you never..." are code phrases for
"you don't meet my expectations,
so I am declaring you inadequate and unacceptable."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our desires always disappoint us;
for though we meet with something that gives us satisfaction,
yet it never thoroughly answers our expectation.
- Elbert Hubbard


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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