Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


A man who suffers before it is necessary,
by Lucius Annaeus Seneca

A man who suffers before it is necessary,
suffers more than is necessary.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

The wish for healing has always been half of health.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


A gift consists not in what is done or given,
but in the intention of the giver or doer.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship
is to understand and to be understood.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

It is not the man who has too little,
but the man who craves more, that is poor.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca


 

Where fear is, happiness is not.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


Thank you for visiting: A man who suffers before it is necessary, by Lucius Annaeus Seneca.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.