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A man is incomplete until he is married.
by Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand PHOTO


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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen


 

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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