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A man's friendships are, like his will,
by Samuel Butler

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

The most important service rendered
by the press and the magazines
is that of educating people
to approach printed matter with distrust.
- Samuel Butler

Life is like music; it must be composed by ear,
feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
- Samuel Butler

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
- Samuel Butler


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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin


 

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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