Facebook share Tweet This Email this
My life is difficult. I need more money.
- the movie The Expendables (2010)
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz 
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck
Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller
You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thank you for visiting: My life is difficult. I need more money. ... by The Expendables.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.