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Life ain't always beautiful,
by Gary Allen

Life ain't always beautiful,
but it's a beautiful ride.
- Gary Allen

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall PHOTO

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz


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The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)


 

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene

Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell

Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln

Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society

If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck

Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha

Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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