Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


In great contests, each party claims to act
by Abraham Lincoln

In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea;
but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
- Abraham Lincoln

The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell,
it is simply purgatory.
- Abraham Lincoln


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln


 

Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln

Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

Hold on with a bulldog grip,
and chew and choke as much as possible.
- Abraham Lincoln

Avoid popularity if you would have peace.
- Abraham Lincoln

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln

Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
- Abraham Lincoln

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln

These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert,
to fleece the people.
- Abraham Lincoln

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln

Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
- Abraham Lincoln

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)

Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

The philosophy of the school room in one generation
will be the philosophy of government in the next.
- Abraham Lincoln

I have always found that mercy bears
richer fruits than strict justice.
- Abraham Lincoln

I don't like that man.
I must get to know him better.
- Abraham Lincoln

The people themselves, and not their servants,
can safely reverse their own deliberate decisions.
- Abraham Lincoln

Those who deny freedom to others
deserve it not for themselves.
- Abraham Lincoln

I was losing interest in politics,
when the repeal of the Missouri Compromise aroused me again.
What I have done since then is pretty well known.
- Abraham Lincoln

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery,
I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
- Abraham Lincoln

My dream is of a place and a time where America
will once again be seen as the last best hope of earth.
- Abraham Lincoln

I hope to stand firm enough to not go backward,
and yet not go forward fast enough
to wreck the country's cause.
- Abraham Lincoln

To give victory to the right, not bloody bullets,
but peaceful ballots only, are necessary.
- Abraham Lincoln

A house divided against itself cannot stand.
- Abraham Lincoln

Some single mind must be master,
else there will be no agreement in anything.
- Abraham Lincoln

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
- Abraham Lincoln

I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends.
- Abraham Lincoln

What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
- Abraham Lincoln

No man is good enough to govern another man
without that other's consent.
- Abraham Lincoln

A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.
- Abraham Lincoln

Don't interfere with anything in the Constitution.
That must be maintained, for it is
the only safeguard of our liberties.
- Abraham Lincoln

There is nothing true anywhere,
The true is nowhere to be seen;
If you say you see the true,
This seeing is not the true one.
- Abraham Lincoln paraphrasing Lao Tzu' Tao te Ching

When I do good, I feel good.
When I do bad, I feel bad.
That's my religion.
- Abraham Lincoln

Everybody likes a compliment.
- Abraham Lincoln

You can fool all the people some of the time,
and some of the people all the time,
but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
- Abraham Lincoln (sometimes attributed to P. T. Barnum)

Let's have faith that right makes might;
and in that faith let us, to the end,
dare to do our duty as we understand it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Republicans are for both the man and the dollar,
but in case of conflict the man before the dollar.
- Abraham Lincoln

Public sentiment is everything.
With public sentiment, nothing can fail.
Without it, nothing can succeed.
- Abraham Lincoln

As I would not be a slave,
so I would not be a master.
This expresses my idea of democracy.
- Abraham Lincoln

He who molds the public sentiment...
makes statutes and decisions possible or impossible to make.
- Abraham Lincoln

I will prepare and some day my chance will come.
- Abraham Lincoln

The ballot is stronger than the bullet.
- Abraham Lincoln

People are just as happy
as they make up their minds to be.
- Abraham Lincoln

Ballots are the rightful and peaceful successors to bullets.
- Abraham Lincoln

My great concern is not whether you have failed,
but whether you are content with your failure.
- Abraham Lincoln

The best way to get a bad law repealed
is to enforce it strictly.
- Abraham Lincoln

Fourscore and seven years ago
our fathers brought forth on this continent,
a new nation, conceived in Liberty,
and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
- Abraham Lincoln

Government of the people,
by the people,
for the people,
shall not perish from this Earth.
- Abraham Lincoln

If I had eight hours to chop down a tree,
I'd spend six hours sharpening my ax.
- Abraham Lincoln

If we could first know where we are,
and whither we are tending,
we could then better judge what to do,
and how to do it.
- Abraham Lincoln

These men ask for just the same thing,
fairness, and fairness only.
This, so far as in my power,
they, and all others, shall have.
- Abraham Lincoln

You cannot escape the responsibility
of tomorrow by evading it today.
- Abraham Lincoln

You cannot build character and courage by
taking away a man's initiative and independence.
- Abraham Lincoln

Die when I may, I want it said by those who knew me best
that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower
where I thought a flower would grow.
- Abraham Lincoln

If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog?
Five? No, calling a tail a leg don't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln


Thank you for visiting: In great contests, each party claims to act by Abraham Lincoln.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.