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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. ...
by Erma Bombeck

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck


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The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)


 

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn

The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous

I never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
- Henry David Thoreau

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau

The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez

The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley

The best friend is the man who in wishing me well
wishes it for my sake.
- Anonymous

In my friend, I find a second self.
- Isabel Norton

A friend should be a master at guessing and keeping still.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Life without a friend is like death without a witness.
- Spanish proverb

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand,
nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship;
it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one
when he discovers that someone else believes in him
and is willing to trust him with his friendship.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You are my friend when you can guard my failure,
challenge my thought and celebrate my success.
- Anonymous

Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

When it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.
- Anonymous

In everyone's life, at some time,
our inner fire goes out.
It is then burst into flame
by an encounter with another human being.
We should all be thankful for those people
who rekindle the inner spirit.
- Albert Schweitzer

Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word.
Never get too big for your britches.
Trust in God. Have no fear;
and Never forget a friend.
- Harry S. Truman

Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
- William Shakespeare

It is a great confidence in a friend
to tell him your faults;
greater to tell him his.
- Benjamin Franklin

An insincere and evil friend is more
to be feared than a wild beast;
a wild beast may wound your body,
but an evil friend will wound your mind.
- The Buddha

A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
- Matthew 18:15

Everyone has a "best friend" during each stage of life,
but only a precious few have the same one.
- Anonymous

The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

Choose a friend as thou dost a wife,
till death separate you.
- William Penn

If I mayn't tell you what I feel,
what is the use of a friend?
- William Makepeace Thackeray

I own that I am not a friend to a very energetic government.
It is always oppressive.
- Thomas Jefferson

Love is the only force capable of
transforming an enemy into friend.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend,
but it requires a very fine nature
to sympathize with a friend's success.
- Oscar Wilde

Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
- Euripides

A true friend is a source of strength and hope.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
- Jerome Cummings

A holiday, the day I first named you, "friend."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

A friend or co-worker shares a political,
religious, economic, or social opinion
that is opposite to yours -
does that drive a wedge between your hearts?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
- John Leonard

A friend to all is a friend to none.
- Aristotle

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be
clearer in his absence,
as the mountain to the climber
is clearer from the plain.
- Khalil Gibran


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May the world be kind to you,
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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