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Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted!
And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried
and smothered in chocolate.
- the movie Shrek 2
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
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The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning
I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
- Winston Churchill
He is a drunkard who takes more than
three glasses though he be not drunk.
- Epictetus
Just one quality of the Buddha has to be remembered.
He consists only of one quality: witnessing.
This small word witnessing contains the whole of spirituality.
Witness that you are not the body.
Witness that you are not the mind.
Witness that you are only a witness.
As the witnessing deepens,
you start becoming drunk with the divine.
That is what is called ecstasy.
- Osho
I have been brought up and trained to have
the utmost contempt for people who get drunk.
- Winston Churchill
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
Everybody is a genius.
But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
- Albert Einstein
People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind
A man must be both stupid and uncharitable
who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side.
- Joseph Addison
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of,
he always declares that it's his duty.
- George Bernard Shaw
Stupid is as stupid does.
- the movie Forrest Gump (1994)
Love interrupts, if you like,
the consequences of your actions,
which in my case is very good news indeed,
because I've done a lot of stupid stuff.
- Bono
Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge,
but he who hates correction is stupid.
- Anonymous
An instructed and intelligent people
are always more decent and orderly
than an ignorant and stupid one.
- Adam Smith
Love is being stupid together.
- Paul Valery
If you ask a stupid question, you may feel stupid;
if you don't ask a stupid question, you remain stupid.
- Tony Rothman
It is one of the blessings of old friends
that you can afford to be stupid with them.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you want to improve,
be content to be thought foolish and stupid.
- Epictetus
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.