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Eighty percent of success is showing up.
- Woody Allen
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall 
I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
I'll be out in a minute.
- the Woody Allen movie What's New Pussycat
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen
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I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
The food at this place is really terrible ...
and such small portions.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point
I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories
Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
but the calf won't get much sleep.
- Woody Allen
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have,
instead of what you don't have.
- Woody Allen
It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
- the Woody Allen movie Manhattan (1979)
I have a very pessimistic view of life.
You should know this about me if we're gonna go out.
You know, I - I feel that life is -
is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Those are the two categories, you know.
The - the horrible would be like, um,
I don't know, terminal cases, you know,
and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life.
It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else.
That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life -
you should be thankful that you're miserable
because you're very lucky to be miserable.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Anonymous
Ninety-nine percent of who you are
is invisible and untouchable.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Life is ten percent what happens to you
and ninety percent how you respond to it.
- Lou Holtz
Ninety-nine percent of the failures
come from people who have the habit of making excuses.
- George Washington Carver
A democracy is nothing more than mob rule,
where fifty-one percent of the people
may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.
- attributed to Thomas Jefferson
Life is 10 percent what happens to me
and 90 percent how I react to it.
- Charles Swindoll
Choose your life's mate carefully.
From this one decision will come
90 percent of all your happiness or misery.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
We still do not know one thousandth of one percent
of what nature has revealed to us.
- Albert Einstein
Genius is one percent inspiration
and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
- Thomas Edison
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude to me is more important than facts.
It is more important than the past, than education, than money,
than circumstances, than failures, than success,
than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill.
It will make or break a company ... a church ... a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day
regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past ...
we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the string we have,
and that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me
and 90 percent how I react to it.
And so it is with you ...
we are in charge of our attitudes.
- Charles Swindoll
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
The road to success is always under construction.
- Anonymous
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Where there's a will, there's a way.
- old English proverb
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
Success consists of going from failure to failure
without loss of enthusiasm.
- Winston Churchill
(also quoted as: "Courage is going from failure to failure
without losing enthusiasm."
Winners Dream Big Dreams.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence;
then success is sure.
- Mark Twain
If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
The Main Thing is to Keep
The Main Thing The Main Thing.
- Stephen Covey
Those who believe they can do something
and those who believe they can't
are both right.
- Henry Ford
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
Whenever I find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.
- Anonymous
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
- Robert F. Kennedy
"Hurry up" ranks right up there with "you need to"
as a destroyer of our humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I don't know the key to success,
but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.
- Bill Cosby
One important key to success is self-confidence.
An important key to self-confidence is preparation.
- Arthur Ashe
The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.
- Mark Twain
Your success and happiness lies in you.
Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you
shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
- Helen Keller
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up.
- Thomas Edison
The secret of success is constancy to purpose.
- Benjamin Disraeli
If you love what you are doing, you ARE a success.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If one advances confidently
in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live
the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with success
unexpected in common hours.
- Henry David Thoreau
No man is a failure who enjoys life.
- William Feather
The only roadblock to success is limited thinking.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Some people dream of success
while others wake up and work hard at it.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.