Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
by Isaac Asimov

Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
- Isaac Asimov

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

Never let your sense of morals
get in the way of doing what's right.
- Isaac Asimov


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


Uncertainty that comes from knowledge
(knowing what you don't know)
is different from uncertainty coming from ignorance.
- Isaac Asimov

It's humbling to think that all animals,
including human beings,
are parasites of the plant world.
- Isaac Asimov

The true delight is in the finding out,
rather than in the knowing.
- Isaac Asimov


 

I have never written a book that didn't teach me
far more than it taught any reader.
- Isaac Asimov

Go ahead, make my day.
- the movie Sudden Impact (1983)

You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau

EVERYONE has the right to make an ass out of themselves.
- Harold and Maude (The movie )

I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

If you want to make enemies,
try to change something.
- Woodrow Wilson

I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams

I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

I always arrive late at the office,
but I make up for it by leaving early.
- Charles Lamb

Lord, where we are wrong,
make us willing to change;
where we are right,
make us easy to live with.
- Peter Marshall

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein

God doesn't make junk.
- Anonymous

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar

How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

You have to be a bastard to make it, and that's a fact.
And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth.
- John Lennon

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston

If Hitler invaded hell
I would make at least a favorable reference
to the devil in the House of Commons.
- Winston Churchill

Human beings must have action;
and they will make it if they cannot find it.
- Albert Einstein

People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton

Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran

Curiosity takes courage.
The most important promises are the ones you make to yourself.
Pay Attention.
Appreciate. Listen. Imagine.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill

If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela

Make a conscious choice to live
a serene and stress-free life.
Stress is always waiting just outside your door
like a vicious wild-dog.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We will either find a way or make one.
- Hannibal

I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller

Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day;
live life to the fullest;
make the most of what you have.
It is later than you think.
- Horace

The goal of life is
to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe,
to match your nature with Nature.
- Joseph Campbell

Every mind must make its choice
between truth and repose.
It cannot have both.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

No amount of self-improvement can make up
for a lack of self-acceptance.
- Anonymous

Make the most of your regrets;
never smother your sorrow,
but tend and cherish it till it comes to have
a separate and integral interest.
To regret deeply is to live afresh.
- Henry David Thoreau

Pain is what the world inflicts upon us.
Suffering is our emotional reaction when we fail
to make the difficult conscious choice to choose Joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Make your "yes" mean yes,
and your "no" mean no.
- John Wooden

I have found out that though the ways in which
I can make myself useful are few,
yet the work open to me is endless.
- Helen Keller

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
- Carl Bard

Well-behaved women seldom make history.
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.
- William Shakespeare

Make the most of yourself,
for that is all there is of you.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

At the end of a matter ask,
"What will I learn from this to make me better?"
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Humans make illogical decisions.
- Spock (character in Star Trek movies and TV shows)

Make Today count. Today - each Today -
is the most important day of your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Begin to define for ourselves
what it is to make a healthy choice.
- Mary Anne Radmacher


Thank you for visiting: Creationists make it sound as though a "theory' by Isaac Asimov.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.