Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


Competition has been shown to be useful
by Franklin D. Roosevelt

Competition has been shown to be useful
up to a certain point and no further,
but cooperation, which is the thing we must strive for today,
begins where competition leaves off.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself -
nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror
which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself -
nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


To reach a port, we must sail -
sail, not tie at anchor - sail, not drift.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt quoting Oliver Wendell Holmes

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt


 

The school is the last expenditure upon which America
should be willing to economize.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Happiness lies in the joy of achievement
and the thrill of creative effort.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Men are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

I am neither bitter nor cynical but I do wish
there was less immaturity in political thinking.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

Do you ever question why our educational system
teaches competition rather than cooperation?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Cooperation is less stressful than competition.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill

If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin

Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

In every country and every age,
the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson

It has always been a mystery to me
how men can feel themselves honored
by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

The attempt to combine wisdom and power
has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
- Albert Einstein

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell [attributed]
(Commissioner, US Patent Office, in 1899)

He who joyfully marches in rank and file
has already earned my contempt.
He has been given a large brain by mistake,
since for him the spinal cord would suffice.
- Albert Einstein

So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation

The world is perfect. It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.
- Joseph Campbell

Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

While civilization has been improving our houses,
it has not equally improved
the men who are to inhabit them.
It has created palaces, but it was
not so easy to create noblemen and kings.
- Henry David Thoreau

For all sad words of tongue and pen,
The saddest are these, "It might have been.
- John Greenleaf Whittier

A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy
between the genius and his human qualities
that one has to ask oneself whether
a little less talent might not have been better.
- Carl Jung

Lovers who have been left, lose confidence and become afraid.
They learn to leave relationships first.
The broken hearted become the heart breakers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
- Satchel Paige

When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
- Khalil Gibran

BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler

No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt

The wish for healing has always been half of health.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

One never notices what has been done;
one can only see what remains to be done.
- Marie Curie

Life is too short, time is too precious,
and the stakes are too high
to dwell on what might have been.
- Hilary Clinton

No person was ever honored for what he received.
Honor has been the reward for what he gave.
- Calvin Coolidge

Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The road to perdition has ever been
accompanied by lip service to an ideal.
- Albert Einstein

What is a weed? A plant whose virtues
have never been discovered.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliche
that must have been left behind in the Sixties,
that's his problem. Love and peace are eternal.
- John Lennon

My theory has always been, that if we are to dream,
the flatteries of hope are as cheap, and pleasanter,
than the gloom of despair.
- Thomas Jefferson

My experience has been that work is
almost the best way to pull oneself out of the depths.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

For once you have tasted flight
you will walk the earth
with your eyes turned skywards,
for there you have been
and there you will long to return.
- Leonardo da Vinci

My life has been filled with terrible misfortune;
most of which never happened.
- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne

All life is change.
Release your attachment to the way things have been,
and wend your way joyfully
through life's unfolding majesty.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Time has been transformed, and we have changed;
it has advanced and set us in motion;
it has unveiled its face,
inspiring us with bewilderment and exhilaration.
- Khalil Gibran

The highest thinkers of the ages,
the seers of the tribes and the nations,
have been optimists.
- Helen Keller

While I thought that I was learning how to live,
I have been learning how to die.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Grace has been defined as the outward expression
of the inward harmony of the soul.
- William Hazlitt

Calm provides clarity. Pause to consider
the gifts you have been given,
the difference you have made
and the direction in which you are headed.
- Anonymous

I often regret that I have spoken;
never that I have been silent.
- Publilius Syrus

Love comes to those who still hope
even though they've been disappointed,
to those who still believe
even though they've been betrayed,
to those who still love
even though they've been hurt before.
- Anonymous

I accept everything that ever has been,
with no regrets, no resentments, and no call for vengeance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Your innermost core has always been pure.
Purity is intrinsic to you,
it cannot be taken away.
- Osho

When we got into office, the thing
that surprised me most
was to find that things were just as bad
as we'd been saying they were.
- John F. Kennedy

I have always been regretting that
I was not as wise as the day I was born.
- Henry David Thoreau

What work I have done I have done because it has been play.
If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
- Mark Twain

If the tongue had not been framed for articulation,
man would still be a beast in the forest.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Most of the important things in the world
have been accomplished by people
who have kept on trying
when there seemed to be no hope at all.
- Dale Carnegie


Thank you for visiting: Competition has been shown to be useful by Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.