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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"I" is a non-stop storyteller, spinning tales
of the past, the present and the future -
constantly editing, interpreting
and directing this inner movie.
- Josh Baran
Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way:
on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
My religion is based on truth and non-violence.
Truth is my God. Non-violence is the means of realizing Him.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Non-violence, which is the quality of the heart,
cannot come by an appeal to the brain.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Non-cooperation with evil is as much a duty as is cooperation with good.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Non-violence and truth are inseparable and presuppose one another.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I have nothing new to teach the world.
Truth and Non-violence are as old as the hills.
All I have done is to try experiments
in both on as vast a scale as I could.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Simply put, mindfulness is moment-to-moment non-judgmental awareness.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
The Tao abides in non-action,
Yet nothing is left undone.
- Lao Tzu
Anger is the enemy of non-violence
and pride is a monster that swallows it up.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Non-violence is the article of faith.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The moment you start seeing life
as non-serious, a playfulness,
all the burden on your heart disappears.
All the fear of death, of life,
of love - everything disappears.
- Osho
Practice moment to moment non-judgemental awareness.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
Besides the noble art of getting things done,
there is the noble art of leaving things undone.
The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.
- Lin Yutang
Non-violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind.
It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction
devised by the ingenuity of man.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Non-violence requires a double faith,
faith in God and also faith in man.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
When I find that I can't accept what is happening,
I turn my attention to accepting my non-acceptance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Non-violence is not a garment to be put on and off at will.
Its seat is in the heart,
and it must be an inseparable part of our being.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu
Non-violence means avoiding not only external physical violence
but also internal violence of spirit.
You not only refuse to shoot a man,
but you refuse to hate him.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
If co-operation is a duty, I hold that non-co-operation
also under certain conditions is equally a duty.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Non-violence is the first article of my faith.
It is also the last article of my creed.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Non-violence is a powerful and just weapon which cuts without wounding
and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The Tao of the sage is work without effort.
Practice non-action. Work without doing.
- Lao Tzu
At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
A weak man is just by accident.
A strong but non-violent man is unjust by accident.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Anger is something that each one of us has experienced -
some of us only occasionally, some almost daily.
Can we eliminate all anger? Probably not.
We will always have expectations,
and those expectations will often be unmet.
Disappointment is the principle cause of anger.
When we are disappointed, we look for someone to blame.
Declaring someone to be at fault is the nature of anger.
Anger is always directed at someone -
possibly toward God or the non-specific "they,"
but at some animate entity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The architect must be a prophet...
a prophet in the true sense of the term...
if he can't see at least ten years ahead don't call him an architect.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes
can be settled by using force,
then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization
and our best hope of establishing a world order.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
- the movie Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Thank you for visiting: Atheism is a non-prophet organization. ... by George Carlin.
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.