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Let these funny William Allen White Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Any appeasement of tyranny is treason.
- William Allen White
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous
I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale
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I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
If you have a job without any aggravations, you don't have a job.
- Malcolm S. Forbes (wealthy publisher)
Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein
It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead
Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley
Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov
I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein
If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)
It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion
will legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power to do so,
and will follow it by suppressing opposition,
subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young,
and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
- Robert Heinlein
Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo
Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain,
and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin
Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Hunger makes a thief of any man.
- Pearl S. Buck
Habit is habit,
and not to be flung out of the window by any man,
but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.
- Mark Twain
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
- William Shakespeare
By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates
When life offers you a dream so far
beyond any of your expectations,
it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.
- Bella, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
Freedom is never dear at any price.
It is the breath of life.
What would a man not pay for living?
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
- Mark Twain
I am a firm believer in the people.
If given the truth, they can be depended upon
to meet any national crisis.
The great point is to bring them the real facts.
- Abraham Lincoln
It is any day better to stand erect
with a broken and bandaged head
then to crawl on one's belly,
in order to be able to save one's head.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Under a government which imprisons any unjustly,
the true place for a just man is also a prison.
- Henry David Thoreau
Clarke's Third Law:
Any sufficiently advanced technology
is indistinguishable from magic.
- Arthur C. Clarke
Determine never to be idle.
No person will have occasion to complain
of the want of time who never loses any.
It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
- Thomas Jefferson
"Be Prepared."
"Be prepared for what?"
"Why, for any old thing."
- Robert Baden-Powell,
the founder of Scouting.
[as quoted in the Boy Scout Handbook]
God's Spirit moves through us and the world
at a pace that can never be constricted
by any one religious paradigm.
I love that.
- Bono
Leaders aren't born they are made.
And they are made just like anything else, through hard work.
And that's the price we'll have to pay
to achieve that goal, or any goal.
- Vince Lombardi
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree
is the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
- Burton Hills
Any statement that is self-serving
is likely to contain untruths.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have.
- Winston Churchill
Moral authority is never retained by
any attempt to hold on to it.
It comes without seeking and
is retained without effort.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Important ideas can come from unexpected places.
We tend to label people - Genius, Idiot,
Socialist, Regressive, Wingnut, Revolutionary, Terrorist.
But it is helpful to remind ourselves to be open
to good ideas - whatever their source.
It is equally important to avoid accepting any idea
merely because we respect that person's
other ideas or accomplishments.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The fear of death follows from the fear of life.
A man who lives fully, is prepared to die at any time.
- Mark Twain
I claim to be a simple individual liable
to err like any other fellow mortal.
I own, however, that I have humility enough
to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Where there is an observatory and a telescope,
we expect that any eyes will see new worlds at once.
- Henry David Thoreau
Nurture your mind with great thoughts,
for you will never go any higher than you think.
- Benjamin Disraeli
Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed
is more important than any other one thing.
- Abraham Lincoln
Choose to See Beauty and Joy:
Much in life can be seen as ugly or beautiful - it's our choice.
Why would we choose to see any part of life as ugly?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No individual has any right to come into the world
and go out of it without leaving something behind.
- George Washington Carver
When any situation arises which tempts you to become disturbed,
say: "There is another way of looking at this."
- A Course In Miracles
"Good morning!" he said at last.
"We don't want any adventures here, thank you!
You might try over The Hill or across The Water."
- J. R. R. Tolkien
Life is a continuity always and always.
There is no final destination it is going towards.
Just the pilgrimage, just the journey in itself is life,
not reaching to some point,
no goal - just dancing and being in pilgrimage,
moving joyously, without bothering about any destination.
- Osho
The world turns aside to let any man pass
who knows where he is going.
- Epictetus
I live in my own place -
have never copied anyone even half,
and at any master who lacks the grace -
to laugh at himself - I laugh.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
It is a cursed evil to any man to become as absorbed
in any subject as I am in mine.
- Charles Darwin
Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler.
- Albert Einstein
Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey
Reading, after a certain age,
diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits.
Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little
falls into lazy habits of thinking.
- Albert Einstein
You cannot divorce religious belief and public service.
I've never detected any conflict between
God's will and my political duty.
If you violate one, you violate the other.
- Jimmy Carter
If there is any one secret of success,
it lies in the ability to get
the other person's point of view
and see things from that person's angle
as well as from your own.
- Henry Ford
Compassion and generosity must be the heart of any true religion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We should distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution.
If you don't have any problems, you don't get any seeds.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Increase of material comforts,
it may be generally laid down,
does not in any way whatsoever
conduce to moral growth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
There is no person in this room whose basic rights
are not involved in any successful defiance
to the carrying out of court orders.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
How can any man be weak who dares to be at all?
- Henry David Thoreau
Difficulties show men what they are.
In case of any difficulty,
remember that God has pitted you
against a rough antagonist
that you may be a conqueror,
and this cannot be without toil.
- Epictetus
When I examine myself and my methods of thought,
I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy
has meant more to me than
any talent for absorbing positive knowledge.
- Albert Einstein
The dream you are living is your creation.
It is your perception of reality that you can change at any time.
- don Miguel Ruiz
I reject any religious doctrine that does not appeal
to reason and is in conflict with morality.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.