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Let these funny Washington Irving Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Great minds have purposes others have wishes.
- Washington Irving
Love is never lost. If not reciprocated,
it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.
- Washington Irving
There is a sacredness in tears.
They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.
They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.
They are messengers of overwhelming grief ...
and unspeakable love.
- Washington Irving
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner 
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I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill
The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
- John Lennon
Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather
Silence is a source of great strength.
- Lao Tzu
Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye
Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller
Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness
of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
- Albert Einstein
Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard
No crime is so great as daring to excel.
- Winston Churchill
To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono
I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller
Regrets and resentments cause great suffering but fix nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell
Dare to dream of your great success.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
- Thomas Henry Huxley
You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss
In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln
Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I have a great deal of company in the house,
especially in the morning when nobody calls.
- Henry David Thoreau
My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca
It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies,
but even more to stand up to your friends.
- J.K. Rowling
It is only the great-hearted who can be true friends.
The mean and cowardly can never know what true friendship means.
- Charles Kingsley
You will become as small as your controlling desire;
as great as your dominant aspiration.
- James Allen
From small beginnings come great things.
- Anonymous
There are trivial truths and there are great truths.
The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
- Niels Bohr
Half a truth is often a great lie.
- Benjamin Franklin
It is an act of great Courage to forsake all Blame.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is about more than today, and more than yourself.
What will your legacy be?
What will your great-grandchildren be told about you?
Creating a legacy does not have to be a burden,
it can be your joy and can create
your satisfaction with living each day.
What kind of world do you want to leave your great-grandchildren?
What can you do today to help create that world?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One of the surest ways to cause
yourself great suffering
is to insist upon being right -
to demand that all others view life
exactly as you view it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Before we acquire great power
we must acquire wisdom to use it well.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
All the great things are simple,
and many can be expressed in a single word:
freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
- Winston Churchill
Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones,
as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.
- Francois de la Rochefoucauld
We come nearest to the great
when we are great in humility.
- Rabindranath Tagore
About leadership: No person can be a great leader
unless he takes genuine joy
in the successes of those under him.
- W. A. Nance
The magic words for a great family are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish.
Do not overdo it.
- Lao Tzu
A Great Relationship is the Dance of Two Great Lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Toleration and liberty are the foundations of a great republic.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Death comes to all,
but great achievements build a monument
which shall endure until the sun grows cold.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We can do no great things,
only small things with great love.
- Mother Teresa
To be great is to be misunderstood.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds,
adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.
With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. -
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
These are not dark days -
these are great days.
- Winston Churchill
A great democracy does not make it harder to vote than to buy an assault weapon.
- William J. Clinton
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.