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Let these funny Walter Lippmann Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer 
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
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She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin
If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein
What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill
If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein
I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein
The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank
You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie
Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain
The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie
People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We should not pretend to understand the world
only by the intellect.
The judgment of the intellect
is only part of the truth.
- Carl Jung
People do not like to think.
If one thinks, one must reach conclusions.
Conclusions are not always pleasant.
- Helen Keller
The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy
You must do the thing that you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The value of a principle is the number of things it will explain.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
The most incomprehensible thing about the world
is that it is comprehensible.
- Albert Einstein
I hear many people talk about their longing for a balanced life.
What I think they are really expressing
is a desire for a life with less pressure.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Few is the number of those
who think with their own mind
and feel with their own heart.
- Albert Einstein
I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau
I simply can't build my hopes on a foundation
of confusion, misery and death...
I think... peace and tranquillity will return again.
- Anne Frank
The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach
Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
I don't know if we each have a destiny,
or if we're all just floatin' around accidental-like on a breeze.
But I, I think maybe it's both.
- the movie Forrest Gump
The very nature of the world is constant change.
You set a goal and create a plan to achieve it;
then the assumptions on which you
based your plan change - they always do.
The challenge is to retain your goals
while adapting your tactics.
Relax and stay flexible in order to reach
your goals and maintain your happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz
The world is more malleable than you think
and it's waiting for you to hammer it into shape.
- Bono
Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day;
live life to the fullest;
make the most of what you have.
It is later than you think.
- Horace
All truths are easy to understand
once they are discovered;
the point is to discover them.
- Galileo Galilei
I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.