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Tom Wilson Quotes
Funny Quotes by Tom Wilson

Let these funny Tom Wilson Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

What this country needs is a credit card for
charging things to experience.
- Tom Wilson

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

In every country and every age,
the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson

I tremble for my country when I reflect that God
is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever.
- Thomas Jefferson


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If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice,
I would have English Channels round every country.
And the atmosphere would be such that
anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire.
- Winston Churchill

Try a new perspective on diversity.
Across the country and around the world,
we are all one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering


 

Loyalty to country ALWAYS.
Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
- Mark Twain

If God is just, I tremble for my country.
- Thomas Jefferson

Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have.
- Winston Churchill

Merchants have no country. The mere spot they stand on
does not constitute so strong an attachment
as that from which they draw their gains.
- Thomas Jefferson

Communism has never come to power in a country
that was not disrupted by war or corruption, or both.
- John F. Kennedy

Throw your dreams into space like a kite,
and you do not know what it will bring back,
a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.
- Anais Nin

I was only the servant of my country and had I, at any moment,
failed to express her unflinching resolve to fight and conquer,
I should at once have been rightly cast aside.
- Winston Churchill

The purpose is clear. It is safety with solvency.
The country is entitled to both.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower {political}

These are not dark days: these are great days -
the greatest days our country has ever lived.
- Winston Churchill

In my country we go to prison first, and then become President.
- Nelson Mandela

Let us all take more responsibility,
not only for ourselves and our families, but
for our communities and our country.
- William J. Clinton

I used to tell my husband that,
if he could make me "understand" something,
it would be clear to all the other people in the country.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

And so, my fellow Americans,
ask not what your country can do for you;
ask what you can do for your country.
- John F. Kennedy

The politician in my country seeks votes,
affection and respect, in that order.
With few notable exceptions,
they are simply men who want to be loved.
- Edward R. Murrow

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to
criticize or attack the government of my own country.
I make up for lost time when I come home.
- Winston Churchill

The spirit of this country is totally adverse to a large military force.
- Thomas Jefferson

I hope to stand firm enough to not go backward,
and yet not go forward fast enough
to wreck the country's cause.
- Abraham Lincoln

This country, with its institutions,
belongs to the people who inhabit it.
Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government,
they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it,
or exercise their revolutionary right to overthrow it.
- Abraham Lincoln

We may consider each generation as a distinct nation,
with a right, by the will of its majority,
to bind themselves, but none to
bind the succeeding generation,
more than the inhabitants of another country.
- Thomas Jefferson

Our country is now taking so steady a course as to show
by what road it will pass to destruction,
to wit: by consolidation of power first,
and then corruption, its necessary consequence.
- Thomas Jefferson

I look forward to a great future for America -
a future in which our country will match its military strength
with our moral restraint,
its wealth with our wisdom, its power with our purpose.
- John F. Kennedy

I think what's going on in Guantanamo Bay
and other places is a disgrace to the U.S.A.
I wouldn't say it's the cause of terrorism,
but it has given impetus and excuses to potential terrorists
to lash out at our country and justify their despicable acts.
- Jimmy Carter

I hope we shall crush in its birth
the aristocracy of our monied corporations
which dare already to challenge our government
to a trial by strength,
and bid defiance to the laws of our country.
- Thomas Jefferson (from a letter to George Logan, Nov. 12th, 1816)

There is always inequality in life.
Some men are killed in a war and some men are wounded
and some men never leave the country.
Life is unfair.
- John F. Kennedy

There is nobody in this country who got rich on their own. Nobody. You built a factory out there - good for you. But I want to be clear. You moved your goods to market on roads the rest of us paid for. You hired workers the rest of us paid to educate. You were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn't have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory... Now look. You built a factory and it turned into something terrific or a great idea - God bless! Keep a hunk of it. But part of the underlying social contract is you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along."
- Elizabeth Warren

All men and women are born, live, suffer and die;
what distinguishes us one from another is our dreams,
whether they be dreams about worldly or unworldly things,
and what we do to make them come about.
We do not choose to be born.
We do not choose our parents.
We do not choose our historical epoch,
the country of our birth,
or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing.
We do not, most of us, choose to die;
nor do we choose the time and conditions of our death.
But within this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we live.
- Joseph Epstein

A city is a place where there is no need to
wait for next week to get the answer to a question,
to taste the food of any country,
to find new voices to listen to and familiar ones to listen to again.
- Margaret Mead

Laws are sand, customs are rock.
Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped,
but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
The penalty may be unfair, unrighteous, illogical, and a cruelty;
no matter, it will be inflicted, just the same.
Certainly, then, there can be but one wise thing
for a visiting stranger to do -
find out what the country's customs are,
and refrain from offending against them.
- Mark Twain

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

Serious illness doesn't bother me for long
because I am too inhospitable a host.
- Albert Schweitzer

Frankly, I'm too scared to ask about the frog.
- the movie Tangled (2010)

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous

Rules are mostly made to be broken
and are too often for the lazy to hide behind.
- Douglas MacArthur

Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion
without the discomfort of thought.
- John F. Kennedy

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
- Voltaire

It was impossible to get a conversation going,
everybody was talking too much.
- Yogi Berra

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

Money often costs too much.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation

Too clever is dumb.
- Ogden Nash

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

You are never too old to set another goal
or to dream a new dream.
- C. S. Lewis


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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