Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Robert Todd Carroll Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Irrational beliefs are culturally accepted delusions.
- Robert Todd Carroll
In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain
We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Assumptions are beliefs that don't know they are beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
What people believe prevails over the truth.
- Sophocles
Everyone believes that their beliefs are the right ones -
that is why they are called beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Before moving on, you have to clear away your cherished beliefs.
- Dick Raymond
Belief fuels our decisions -
even when we are not clearly aware of those beliefs.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
We become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic.
Different people, different beliefs,
different yearnings, different hopes, different dreams.
- Jimmy Carter
Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around.
- Henry David Thoreau
It is not my place to doubt the sincere beliefs of others.
My job is to question my own beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Have convictions. Be friendly.
Stick to your beliefs as they stick to theirs.
Work as hard as they do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I am responsible for my thoughts, my beliefs, and my actions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Let light shine through the cracks
in the armor of your staunchest beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one's own beliefs.
Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others.
- John F. Kennedy
Our grandchildren's grandchildren will shake their heads in shame
at some of the beliefs that we hold most dear today -
the question is, which ones?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The inherent nature of God
is not changed by our individual beliefs,
our religious institutions,
or our communal traditions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Most people don't CHOOSE their value system -
they simply inherit the beliefs of their parents and community.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Recall a recent time when someone was strongly critical
of your opinions (perhaps your political or religious beliefs).
Now, put yourself in their shoes - with compassion.
Try to understand and appreciate their point-of-view -
not to change your own opinions,
but to celebrate all our human differences - in peace.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Beliefs have evolved based on survival value.
Certain belief systems have been more conducive than others
to people living long enough to reproduce,
and having a high rate of reproduction.
It's that basic.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The test of all beliefs is their practical effect in life.
If it be true that optimism compels the world forward,
and pessimism retards it, then it is dangerous to
propagate a pessimistic philosophy.
- Helen Keller
Which beliefs bring out the best in you?
Which beliefs hold you prisoner to yesterday
and limit your options for designing a great future?
Test your beliefs with as much objectivity
as you can bring to the subject.
Be willing to let go of those beliefs
that represent your parents' opinions,
or your communities opinions, rather than your own.
Those beliefs that withstand rigorous testing,
should become the foundation of your being -
your reason for living.
Take action on those beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Each of us holds a different image of God.
There are as many perspectives on
the nature of God as there are people.
However much any of us may choose to argue,
or to fight and kill, for our point of view,
the nature of God is an unanswerable question.
Perhaps there is a specific answer,
that we will never learn - in this lifetime.
Perhaps the nature of God is so complex and multifaceted
that each view of God describes an aspect of the complex whole.
Or perhaps the nature of God is actually defined by our beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Meddling:
Everything that happens in the world, or doesn't happen,
is NOT my responsibility.
There are more than enough things that are my responsibility.
I am responsible for my thoughts, my beliefs, and my actions -
and that is enough.
It does not serve me to mind anyone else's business.
I can only make myself unhappy by trying to second guess
what anyone else thinks or does.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
I don't doubt God. I have firm faith absolutely in God.
It's religion I'm doubting.
- Bono
Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein
Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
The Christian missionary may preach the gospel
to the poor naked heathen,
but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe
have as yet heard nothing of Christianity.
- Carl Jung
You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates
all the same people you do.
- Anne Lamott
God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
- John Lennon
Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blind-folded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson
The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Jesus was all right,
but his disciples were thick and ordinary.
It's them twisting it that ruins it for me.
- John Lennon
Puritanism. The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The believer's ray of light is the cynic's sunburn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It ain't those parts of the Bible
that I can't understand that bother me,
it is the parts that I do understand.
- Mark Twain
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series
Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken
True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo
We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins
In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
The invisible and nonexistent look much alike.
- Delos B. McKown
In every country and every age,
the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson
The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain
Never trust spiritual leader who doesn't dance.
- Miyagi: character in the movie The Next Karate Kid
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death
I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I
Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek
It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov
Thank you for visiting: Robert Todd Carroll Quotes - Funny Quotes by Robert Todd Carroll.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.