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Robert Bloch Quotes
Funny Quotes by Robert Bloch

Let these funny Robert Bloch Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields PHOTO

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand PHOTO

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin PHOTO


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You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West


 

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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