Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


Oliver Cromwell Quotes
Funny Quotes by Oliver Cromwell

Let these funny Oliver Cromwell Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

He who stops being better, stops being good.
- Oliver Cromwell

The buck stops here.
- Harry S. Truman

If you are absolutely without mind,
just pure consciousness,
time stops completely,
disappears,
leaving no trace behind.
- Osho

Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


Hunger makes a thief of any man.
- Pearl S. Buck

When men destroy their old gods,
they will find new ones to take their place.
- Pearl S. Buck

What seems new is only new to us.
- Pearl S. Buck


 

I feel no need for any other faith
than my faith in the kindness of human beings.
I am so absorbed in the wonder of earth and the life upon it
that I cannot think of heaven and angels.
- Pearl S. Buck

The basic discovery about any people is the discovery
of the relationship between men and women.
- Pearl S. Buck

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

Ennui has made more gamblers than avarice,
more drunkards than thirst,
and perhaps as many suicides as despair.
- The Buddha

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White PHOTO

Guilt for being rich,
and guilt thinking that perhaps love and peace isn't enough
and you have to go and get shot or something.
- John Lennon

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

I consider my greatest accomplishment to be lifelong celibacy.
- Isaac Newton
(discoverer of the laws of gravitation and motion,
famous mathematician, and perhaps the greatest scientist ever)

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

Anger? perhaps there is a better way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

The greatest virtue of man is perhaps curiosity.
- Anatole France

There is more value in a very good painting
that is completed and on display,
than in an excellent painting
that is still in the artist's studio,
or perhaps still in his mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller

I must uphold my ideals,
for perhaps the time will come
when I shall be able to carry them out.
- Anne Frank

If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
- Henry David Thoreau

One of the greatest cause of unhappiness -
perhaps even the only cause of unhappiness - is comparison.
I remember as a young child hearing my mother say,
"Comparisons are odious."
That is one of the oldest sayings in the English language,
and one of the most important.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, try something you have never tried before.
Perhaps just a food that is new to you -
perhaps a whole new way of living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know that fear is your worst enemy -
perhaps your only enemy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My compassionate intents are generally received clearly
and acted upon - perhaps not immediately,
or in exactly the way I hope -
but acted upon favorably, nonetheless.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If a man loses pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
however measured or far away.
- Henry David Thoreau

Not everyone is always going to like what you do.
Your job application, your book proposal,
your offer of marriage is going to
get rejected sometimes - perhaps often.
Your boss, your spouse, even the person
behind you in the supermarket checkout line
is occasionally going to think that you are doing it all wrong.
Don't take it personally.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Maybe life isn't really as complicated
as we make it out to be.
Perhaps a simple child-like attitude would create
a less stressful and happier life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you are over 30, get out your high-school yearbook
and look for ideas you can apply today -
perhaps an innocent optimism about life -
perhaps a hobby you loved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Perhaps nature is our best assurance of immortality.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the lake.
- Wallace Stevens

When one gets angry, it is always angry AT someone -
perhaps a friend or spouse, perhaps a stranger,
perhaps the nameless "they" - "those people at the bank wronged me,"
perhaps God, or perhaps oneself.
In any case, when one gets angry,
they want to find someone to be "responsible" for what happened.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Perhaps it is better to be irresponsible and right,
than to be responsible and wrong.
- Winston Churchill

Improve what you can
and accept all the rest of life
just as it comes.
Know that fear is your worst enemy -
perhaps your only enemy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Now this is not the end.
It is not even the beginning of the end.
But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.
- Winston Churchill

It is much more painful to have lost
something you thought you had,
than never to have had it at all.
If feels as if our trust was dashed.
We are disappointed and we are angry;
but not quite sure at who to direct our anger.
Someone, perhaps "the system," perhaps God,
should have done better.
Most of all we are angry at ourselves -
even though we did our best -
and we are afraid.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence.
Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear.
Perhaps the action you take will be successful;
perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow.
But any action is better than no action at all.
- Norman Vincent Peale

We fear the unknown,
perhaps more than we fear anything else,
and yet we are, at heart, adventurers.
We seek to expand our realm of knowledge and dominion.
Perhaps we are attempting to overcome and crush the unknown,
but our duel with the unknown is such a one-sided clash
that we must know in our hearts
that our adventure is no more than a child's game.
Perhaps we hope that the unknown
is like the darkness of a cave
and that the brief light of our adventurer's candle
can illuminate the entire cave.
Nonetheless, the path of the adventurer
is a path of joy, while the way of fear is one of suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks.
Perhaps this person will never
be disappointed or disillusioned;
perhaps she won't suffer the way
people do when they have a dream to follow.
But when the person looks back -
and at some point everyone look back -
she will hear her heart, saying,
"What have you done with the miracles
that God planted in your days?
What have you done with the talents
God bestowed on you?"
- Paulo Coelho

If you don't enjoy your career,
today is the day to begin a long-term plan
for creating a career that interests and excites you.
And, in the short term, even if you hate your job,
look for small joys at work each day,
perhaps in your interactions with customers and co-workers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A state of expectancy is a great asset;
a state of uncertainty -
one moment thinking "perhaps"
and the next moment thinking "I don't know" -
will never get desired results.
- Ernest Holmes

If you have been divorced, you know it hurts -
especially if your marriage had lasted many years.
Whatever the circumstances of your relationship,
and whatever the nature of its ending,
there is always grief and regret -
perhaps regret over the ending,
or perhaps regret over not ending the relationship sooner -
or perhaps both.
Nonetheless, move past the grief and regret.
No matter how painful, divorce, like all endings,
opens the door to new beginnings.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Have a talk with your mind
(it really is something separate from yourself).
Lay down the law.
"My life begins TODAY.
I am like a newborn.
I have what I have today;
I have my fingers, my toes,
some people in my life,
some material and financial state.
Yesterday is only a dream -
perhaps a nightmare,
perhaps a cherished memory,
but only a dream - nothing more.
I will make all decisions and actions based solely
on what I have today as a starting point."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Ever had a bad hair day -
a day when everything seemed to be going wrong?
Perhaps today is a day to soothe your ruffled feathers,
take a deep breath, and reaffirm that
the weight of the world is really not on your shoulders,
unless you choose to assume that burden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Smile.
Today would be a wonderful day
not to take life so seriously.
Today may end up the way you prefer -
and it may not.
Happiness is not about being a winner -
it's about being gentle with life -
being gentle with yourself.
Let life be a dance,
and choose the kind of
dance you want for today -
perhaps a gentle loving dance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

God is Within You!
You yourself are the creator.
If you find that place within you
from which you brought this thing about,
you will be able to live with it and affirm it,
perhaps even enjoy it, as your life.
- Joseph Campbell

"Fair" is not a useful concept.
Life is not "fair."
You can't make life "fair."
You can get angry.
You can complain about life not being "fair."
You can attempt revenge - perhaps violently.
You can inflict great suffering upon yourself
in the name of life being "unfair."
And Life is still not "fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Recall a recent time when someone was strongly critical
of your opinions (perhaps your political or religious beliefs).
Now, put yourself in their shoes - with compassion.
Try to understand and appreciate their point-of-view -
not to change your own opinions,
but to celebrate all our human differences - in peace.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Trust:
Perhaps you trust your doctor,
your lawyer, your boss - perhaps not.
Perhaps you trust in a "Higher Power" - perhaps you don't.
Trust is something that we become aware of in unusual situations,
such as a once-in-a-lifetime ride on a zip-line,
but most of the time, we become oblivious
to the trust we have, or don't have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What if it were only an illusion?
Perhaps life is not as threatening as it appears.
Perhaps the greatest threat to our serenity
is our fear of the future -
our fear of the unknown.
Perhaps, as Franklin D. Roosevelt said,
"The Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Choose your goal and keep your eye on it. Never give up.
Perhaps you will need to change your plan
and approach you goal from a different direction, but don't quit.
Keep thinking. Keep re-planning. Keep going.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.
What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.
- Dr. Seuss

Why should we be in such desperate haste to succeed,
and in such desperate enterprises?
If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
- Henry David Thoreau

Each of us holds a different image of God.
There are as many perspectives on
the nature of God as there are people.
However much any of us may choose to argue,
or to fight and kill, for our point of view,
the nature of God is an unanswerable question.
Perhaps there is a specific answer,
that we will never learn - in this lifetime.
Perhaps the nature of God is so complex and multifaceted
that each view of God describes an aspect of the complex whole.
Or perhaps the nature of God is actually defined by our beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The greatest battle of all is simply... Life.
This is no child's game. This is the big one -
the Super Bowl - the Game of all games.
The rules of Life are unwritten and unknown.
Perhaps, one could say that there are no rules.
The Judge has ultimate power.
She can call the game at any time - for any reason.
The penalties in the Game are completely arbitrary -
in both timing and severity.
Penalty for what, we ask?
The Judge is silent.
How can I win the Game?
"You can never win," comes the answer,
"So just take pleasure in playing the Game."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The child in me could not die as it should have died,
because according too legends it must find its father again.
The old legends knew, perhaps, that in absence
the father becomes glorified, deified, eroticized,
and this outrage against God the Father has to be atoned for.
The human father has to be confronted and recognized as human,
as man who created a child and then, by his absence,
left the child fatherless and then Godless.
- Anais Nin

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West


Thank you for visiting: Oliver Cromwell Quotes - Funny Quotes by Oliver Cromwell.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.