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Mencius Quotes
Funny Quotes by Mencius

Let these funny Mencius Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

Friendship is one mind in two bodies.
- Mencius

Friends are the siblings God never gave us.
- Mencius

From wine what sudden friendship springs.
- John Gay

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck


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I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous


 

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis PHOTO

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson PHOTO

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington

Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache;
do be my enemy - for friendship's sake.
- William Blake

A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- George Bernard Shaw

To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran

True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope

No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)

True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb

It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich

Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

True friendship is never serene.
- Marquise de Sevigne

We have no enemies,
we have only friendships that we haven't yet developed
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have friends in overalls
whose friendship I would not swap
for the favor of the kings of the world.
- Thomas A. Edison

Don't be dismayed by good-byes.
A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.
- Richard Bach

Do not save your loving speeches
For your friends till they are dead;
Do not write them on their tombstones,
Speak them rather now instead.
- Anna Cummins

There are not many things in life
so beautiful as true friendship,
and not many things more uncommon.
- Anonymous

Friendship that flows from the heart
cannot be frozen by adversity,
as the water that flows from the spring
cannot congeal in winter.
- James Fenimore Cooper

Every goodbye is the birth of a memory.
- Dutch Proverb

A good-bye is never painful unless
you're never going to say hello again.
- Anonymous

True friendship can afford true knowledge.
It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.
- Henry David Thoreau

We'll be friends until forever, just you wait and see.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Fame is the scentless sunflower, with gaudy crown of gold;
But friendship is the breathing rose, with sweets in every fold.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

There's a big difference between a handout and a helping hand.
One's charity, the other's friendship.
- Little Joe' Cartwright in Bonanza - Rain from Heaven

What I cannot love, I overlook.
Is that real friendship?
- Anais Nin

"How do you spell 'love'?" asked Piglet.
"You don't spell it...you feel it." answered Pooh.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness;
however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

Friendship with one's self is all important,
because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

True friendship is a plant of slow growth,
and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity
before it is entitled to the appellation.
- George Washington

Friendship, like credit, is highest when it is not used.
- Elbert Hubbard


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.