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Let these funny Maya Angelou Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
The ache for home lives in all of us,
the safe place where we can
go as we are and not be questioned.
- Maya Angelou
People will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget
how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou 
Self-pity in its early stages
is as snug as a feather mattress.
Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
- Maya Angelou
Life is a gift, and I try to respond with grace and courtesy.
- Maya Angelou
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One must know not just how to accept a gift,
but with what grace to share it.
- Maya Angelou
I have found that among its other benefits,
giving liberates the soul of the giver.
- Maya Angelou
If you have only one smile in you,
give it to the people you love.
Don't be surly at home,
then go out in the street
and start grinning good morning
at total strangers.
- Maya Angelou
There's a world of difference between truth and facts.
Facts can obscure truth.
- Maya Angelou
I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou
If you don't like something, change it,
If you can't change it, change your attitude
- Maya Angelou
Everything has rhythm. everything dances.
- Maya Angelou
Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache;
do be my enemy - for friendship's sake.
- William Blake
Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
Grant That I May Radiate Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Joy, and Thy Peace,
to All Those Around Me
and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If thy brother wrongs thee,
remember not so much his wrong-doing,
but more than ever that he is thy brother.
- Epictetus
Go oft to the house of thy friend,
for weeds choke the unused path.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Genius is the power to labor better and more availably.
Deserve thy genius: exalt it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Let Food be thy medicine and medicine be Thy food.
- Hippocrates.
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
- St Francis of Assisi
Thy Return is as another Sun to Heaven;
a new Rose blooming in the Garden of the Soul.
- Omar Khayyam
Control thy passions lest they take vengeance upon thee.
- Epictetus
Search others for their virtues, thyself for thy vices.
- Benjamin Franklin
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
- St. Francis of Assisi
I offer my body, my mind
and any ability that I posses,
to be used by Thee, O Infinite Creator,
in whatever way Thou dost choose
to express Thyself through me.
I know that all work is Thy work,
and that no task is too difficult
or too menial when offered
to Thee in loving service.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
Love Your Enemies
Ye have heard that it hath been said,
Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy.
But I say unto you, Love your enemies,
bless them that curse you,
do good to them that hate you,
and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.
- Jesus of Nazareth (Matthew 5:43-44)
Most people consider the course of events as natural and inevitable.
They little know what radical change are possible through prayer.
Every morning I offer my body, my mind and any ability that I posses,
to be used by Thee, O infinite creator,
in whatever way Thou dost choose to express Thyself through me.
I know that all work is Thy work, and that no task is too difficult
or too menial when offered to Thee in loving service.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
Prayer:
Lord God, Holy Spirit, Giver of All Light,
Bless and Keep All Those of This World.
Grant Us Your Peace, Your Light, Your Love.
Grant Us Complete Renewal of Body, Mind and Spirit -
Continual Rebirth in Newness of Life.
Let Your Light Shine Upon Us and Be Gracious to Us.
Grant to Each and Every One of Us:
Health, Comfort, Joy, Peace Within Ourselves,
Peace Within Our Families, Peace Within Our Communities,
and Peace among All those This World.
Grant That I May Be an Instrument of Thy Peace.
Grant That I May Radiate Thy Peace, Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Comfort, Thy Joy,
to All Those Around Me and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More. AMEN.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be in peace with many,
but let one of a thousand be thy counsellor.
- Ecclesiastes 1:23
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new- hatch'd, unfledg'd comrade.
- William Shakespeare
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato
Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi
He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous
Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
- William Shakespeare
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.