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Maya Angelou Quotes
Funny Quotes by Maya Angelou

Let these funny Maya Angelou Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

The ache for home lives in all of us,
the safe place where we can
go as we are and not be questioned.
- Maya Angelou

People will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget
how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou PHOTO

Self-pity in its early stages
is as snug as a feather mattress.
Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
- Maya Angelou

Life is a gift, and I try to respond with grace and courtesy.
- Maya Angelou


 

One must know not just how to accept a gift,
but with what grace to share it.
- Maya Angelou

I have found that among its other benefits,
giving liberates the soul of the giver.
- Maya Angelou

If you have only one smile in you,
give it to the people you love.
Don't be surly at home,
then go out in the street
and start grinning good morning
at total strangers.
- Maya Angelou


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There's a world of difference between truth and facts.
Facts can obscure truth.
- Maya Angelou

I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou

If you don't like something, change it,
If you can't change it, change your attitude
- Maya Angelou

Everything has rhythm. everything dances.
- Maya Angelou

Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache;
do be my enemy - for friendship's sake.
- William Blake

Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

Grant That I May Radiate Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Joy, and Thy Peace,
to All Those Around Me
and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

If thy brother wrongs thee,
remember not so much his wrong-doing,
but more than ever that he is thy brother.
- Epictetus

Go oft to the house of thy friend,
for weeds choke the unused path.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Genius is the power to labor better and more availably.
Deserve thy genius: exalt it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let Food be thy medicine and medicine be Thy food.
- Hippocrates.

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
- St Francis of Assisi

Thy Return is as another Sun to Heaven;
a new Rose blooming in the Garden of the Soul.
- Omar Khayyam

Control thy passions lest they take vengeance upon thee.
- Epictetus

Search others for their virtues, thyself for thy vices.
- Benjamin Franklin

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

I offer my body, my mind
and any ability that I posses,
to be used by Thee, O Infinite Creator,
in whatever way Thou dost choose
to express Thyself through me.
I know that all work is Thy work,
and that no task is too difficult
or too menial when offered
to Thee in loving service.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

Love Your Enemies
Ye have heard that it hath been said,
Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy.
But I say unto you, Love your enemies,
bless them that curse you,
do good to them that hate you,
and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.
- Jesus of Nazareth (Matthew 5:43-44)

Most people consider the course of events as natural and inevitable.
They little know what radical change are possible through prayer.
Every morning I offer my body, my mind and any ability that I posses,
to be used by Thee, O infinite creator,
in whatever way Thou dost choose to express Thyself through me.
I know that all work is Thy work, and that no task is too difficult
or too menial when offered to Thee in loving service.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

Prayer:
Lord God, Holy Spirit, Giver of All Light,
Bless and Keep All Those of This World.
Grant Us Your Peace, Your Light, Your Love.
Grant Us Complete Renewal of Body, Mind and Spirit -
Continual Rebirth in Newness of Life.
Let Your Light Shine Upon Us and Be Gracious to Us.
Grant to Each and Every One of Us:
Health, Comfort, Joy, Peace Within Ourselves,
Peace Within Our Families, Peace Within Our Communities,
and Peace among All those This World.
Grant That I May Be an Instrument of Thy Peace.
Grant That I May Radiate Thy Peace, Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Comfort, Thy Joy,
to All Those Around Me and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More. AMEN.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be in peace with many,
but let one of a thousand be thy counsellor.
- Ecclesiastes 1:23

Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new- hatch'd, unfledg'd comrade.
- William Shakespeare

Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost PHOTO

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous

Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings

Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham

A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato

Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb

Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West

Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
- William Shakespeare


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.