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Maxwell Maltz Quotes
Funny Quotes by Maxwell Maltz

Let these funny Maxwell Maltz Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

We are injured and hurt emotionally,
not so much by other people
or what they say and don't say,
but by our own attitude and our own response.
- Maxwell Maltz

An injured friend is the bitterest of foes.
- Thomas Jefferson

Forgive those who have injured you -
not because they deserve your forgiveness,
but because you can never be happy
until you release your anger and grant forgiveness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One who is injured ought not to return the injury,
for on no account can it be right to do an injustice;
and it is not right to return an injury,
or to do evil to any man,
however much we have suffered from him.
- Socrates


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The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles


 

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson PHOTO

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer PHOTO

The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard PHOTO

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous PHOTO

The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau

I never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
- Henry David Thoreau

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson

The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez

The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous

A brother is a friend given by Nature.
- Jean Baptiste Legouve

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
- Jerome Cummings

Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.
- Albert Camus

When one gets angry, it is always angry AT someone -
perhaps a friend or spouse, perhaps a stranger,
perhaps the nameless "they" - "those people at the bank wronged me,"
perhaps God, or perhaps oneself.
In any case, when one gets angry,
they want to find someone to be "responsible" for what happened.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A single rose can be my garden...
a single friend, my world.
- Leo Buscaglia

Go oft to the house of thy friend,
for weeds choke the unused path.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu

A friend knows the song in my heart
and sings it to me when my memory fails.
- Donna Roberts

The only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A friend is one who walks in when others walk out
- Walter Winchell

A friend should be a master at guessing and keeping still.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

He's my friend that speaks well of me behind my back.
- Thomas Fuller

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
- John Leonard

A true friend is the one who
walks in when others walk out.
- Walter Winchell

Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word.
Never get too big for your britches.
Trust in God. Have no fear;
and Never forget a friend.
- Harry S. Truman

The only reward of virtue is virtue;
the only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your friend is the man who knows all about you,
and still likes you.
- Elbert Hubbard

A friend in need is a friend indeed.
- Latin Proverb

Throw your dreams into space like a kite,
and you do not know what it will bring back,
a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.
- Anais Nin

A friend is a present you give yourself.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

The best way to destroy an enemy
is to make him a friend.
- Abraham Lincoln

When it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.
- Anonymous

A friend is one before whom I can think aloud.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life without a friend is like death without a witness.
- Spanish proverb

A true friend is one who believes in you
when you have ceased to believe in yourself.
- Anonymous

Choose a friend as thou dost a wife,
till death separate you.
- William Penn

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand,
nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship;
it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one
when he discovers that someone else believes in him
and is willing to trust him with his friendship.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You are my friend when you can guard my failure,
challenge my thought and celebrate my success.
- Anonymous

Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
- Matthew 18:15


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.