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Let these funny Marilyn vos Savant Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
To acquire knowledge, one must study;
but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.
- Marilyn vos Savant
Being defeated is often a temporary condition.
Giving up is what makes it permanent.
- Marilyn vos Savant
Before we acquire great power
we must acquire wisdom to use it well.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We acquire the strength we have overcome.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Abundance is not something we acquire.
It is something we tune into.
- Wayne Dyer
The more I read, the more I meditate;
and the more I acquire,
the more certain I am that I know nothing.
- Voltaire
There are very few human beings who receive the truth,
complete and staggering, by instant illumination.
Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment,
on a small scale, by successive developments,
cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.
- Anais Nin
Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken
Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck
I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain
Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks
There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather 
My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite
smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol
before, after and if need be during all meals
and in the intervals between them.
- Winston Churchill
We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell
What lies behind us and what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We must be our own before we can be another's.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left.
- Marilyn Monroe
In case you failed to notice,
in case you failed to see,
this is my heart,
bleeding before you,
this is me down on my knees.
- Jewel
Before moving on, you have to clear away your cherished beliefs.
- Dick Raymond
Don't be dismayed by good-byes.
A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.
- Richard Bach
Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
- William Shakespeare
We all have our thorns. We, and Life, have our moments.
Life occurs before our morning coffee.
Life occurs in our bathrobe with our hair uncombed.
Bless and give thanks for All of Life - the bloom and the thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere,
and many of us will have to pass
through the valley of the shadow of death
again and again before we reach
the mountaintop of our desires.
- Nelson Mandela
My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you
before you can move on.
- the movie Forrest Gump
Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone
what you are looking for before you begin looking for it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The challenge before us is to savor the unknown
and delight in the taste of possibility.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The language of excitement is at best picturesque merely.
You must be calm before you can utter oracles.
- Henry David Thoreau
As long as any adult thinks that he,
like the parents and teachers of old,
can become introspective,
invoking his own youth to understand
the youth before him,
he is lost.
- Margaret Mead
We do not always see what is before our face -
sometimes we see what we hope to see,
or fear we will see.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A great part of courage is the courage
of having done the thing before.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A friend is one before whom I can think aloud.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life is no brief candle to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch
which I have got a hold of for the moment,
and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible
before handing it on to future generations.
- George Bernard Shaw
For the very first time the young are
seeing history being made
before it is censored by their elders.
- Margaret Mead
A man who suffers before it is necessary,
suffers more than is necessary.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Nothing is more beautiful than the loveliness
of the woods before sunrise.
- George Washington Carver
Follow your bliss and doors will open
where there were no doors before.
- Joseph Campbell
If I read a book that impresses me,
I have to take myself firmly in hand
before I mix with other people;
otherwise they would think my mind rather queer.
- Anne Frank
The best time to make friends is before you need them.
- Ethel Barrymore
Nurturing is not complex.
It's simply being tuned in to the thing or person before you
and offering small gestures toward what it needs at that time.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Healing does not mean going back to the way things were before,
but rather allowing what is now to move us closer to God.
- Ram Dass
Children are born innocent.
Before they are domesticated they live in the moment,
love without fear, and don't even think about the opinions of others.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Never spend your money before you have earned it.
- Thomas Jefferson
From far beyond this life,
I hear the call.
From place beyond all place,
I feel the call.
From time before all time,
I know the call.
From one before all ones,
I am the call.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today, try something you have never tried before.
Perhaps just a food that is new to you -
perhaps a whole new way of living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Each day, I am healthier, younger,
stronger, more comfortable,
and more joyful than the day before.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is darkest just before the dawn.
- Proverb
Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory.
Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.
- Sun Tzu
Love comes to those who still hope
even though they've been disappointed,
to those who still believe
even though they've been betrayed,
to those who still love
even though they've been hurt before.
- Anonymous
The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
- Vince Lombardi
If you have no confidence in self,
you are twice defeated in the race of life.
With confidence, you have won even before you have started.
- Marcus Tullius Cicero
Before you criticize a man,
walk a mile in his shoes.
- Anonymous
Republicans are for both the man and the dollar,
but in case of conflict the man before the dollar.
- Abraham Lincoln
True love means putting the other person before yourself,
and honoring the relationship above all.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I like the silent church before the service begins,
better than any preaching.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is a mark of soulfulness to be present in the here and now.
When we are present, we are not fabricating inner movies.
We are seeing what is before us.
- John Bradshaw
How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment
before starting to improve the world.
- Anne Frank
Before the throne of the Almighty,
man will be judged not by his acts but by his intentions.
For God alone reads our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Never put passion before principle.
Even if win, you lose.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid 2
True friendship is a plant of slow growth,
and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity
before it is entitled to the appellation.
- George Washington
You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.
- Michael Jordan
There should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation
of differences before resorting to combat.
- Jimmy Carter
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.