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Marilyn Monroe Quotes
Funny Quotes by Marilyn Monroe

Let these funny Marilyn Monroe Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Marilyn Monroe

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left.
- Marilyn Monroe

Fame will go by and, so long, I've had you,
fame.
If it goes by, I've always known it was fickle.
So at least it's something I experience,
but that's not where I live.
- Marilyn Monroe


 

Sometimes good things fall apart
so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius
and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous
than absolutely boring.
- Marilyn Monroe

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him.
After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
- Marilyn Monroe


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I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I am out of control
and at times hard to handle.
But if you can't handle me at my worst,
then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
- Marilyn Monroe

Husbands are chiefly good as lovers when they are betraying their wives.
- Marilyn Monroe

No one ever told me I was pretty when I was a little girl.
All little girls should be told they're pretty,
even if they aren't.
- Marilyn Monroe

Dreaming about being an actress, is more exciting then being one.
- Marilyn Monroe

I am not interested in money.
I just want to be wonderful.
- Marilyn Monroe

I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time.
- Marilyn Monroe

I knew I belonged to the public and to the world,
not because I was talented or even beautiful,
but because I had never belonged to anything or anyone else.
- Marilyn Monroe

I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it.
- Marilyn Monroe

It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone -
so far.
- Marilyn Monroe

It's often just enough to be with someone.
I don't need to touch them.
Not even talk.
A feeling passes between you both.
You're not alone.
- Marilyn Monroe

I restore myself when I'm alone.
- Marilyn Monroe

I have too many fantasies to be a housewife.
I guess I am a fantasy.
- Marilyn Monroe

If I'm a star, then the people made me a star.
- Marilyn Monroe

First, I'm trying to prove to myself that I'm a person.
Then maybe I'll convince myself that I'm an actress.
- Marilyn Monroe

I am invariably late for appointments -
sometimes as much as two hours.
I've tried to change my ways but the things that make me late are too strong,
and too pleasing.
- Marilyn Monroe

A sex symbol becomes a thing.
I just hate to be a thing.
- Marilyn Monroe

An actress is not a machine, but they treat you like a machine.
A money machine.
- Marilyn Monroe

I'm very definitely a woman and I enjoy it.
- Marilyn Monroe

I've never dropped anyone I believed in.
- Marilyn Monroe

I am involved in a freedom ride protesting the loss
of the minority rights belonging to the few remaining earthbound stars.
All we demanded was our right to twinkle.
- Marilyn Monroe

It's all make believe, isn't it?
- Marilyn Monroe

Dogs never bite me.
Just humans.
- Marilyn Monroe

What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No.
5, of course.
- Marilyn Monroe

Sex is a part of nature.
I go along with nature.
- Marilyn Monroe

It's not true I had nothing on, I had the radio on.
- Marilyn Monroe

Men are so willing to respect anything that bores them.
- Marilyn Monroe

I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
- Marilyn Monroe

I guess I have always been deeply terrified to really
be someone's wife since I know from life one cannot love another,
ever, really.
- Marilyn Monroe

I don't know who invented high heels,
but all women owe him a lot.
- Marilyn Monroe

The trouble with censors is that they worry if a girl has cleavage.
They ought to worry if she hasn't any.
- Marilyn Monroe

If I'd observed all the rules, I'd never have got anywhere.
- Marilyn Monroe

The body is meant to be seen, not all covered up.
- Marilyn Monroe

A career is wonderful, but you can't curl up with it on a cold night.
- Marilyn Monroe

Being a sex symbol is a heavy load to carry,
especially when one is tired, hurt and bewildered.
- Marilyn Monroe

The thing I want more than anything else? I want to have children.
I used to feel for every child I had,
I would adopt another.
- Marilyn Monroe

This life is what you make it.
Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes,
it's a universal truth.
But the good part is,
you get to decide how you're going to mess it up.
Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway.
But just remember, some come, some go.
The ones that stay with you through everything -
they're your true best friends.
Don't let go of them.
Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world.
- Marilyn Monroe

I don't want to make money, I just want to be wonderful.
- Marilyn Monroe

My work is the only ground I've ever had to stand on.
I seem to have a whole superstructure with no foundation
but I'm working on the foundation.
- Marilyn Monroe

I have feelings too.
I am still human.
All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent.
- Marilyn Monroe

Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand
dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.
- Marilyn Monroe

To put it bluntly, I seem to have a whole superstructure with no foundation.
But I'm working on the foundation.
- Marilyn Monroe

There was my name up in lights.
I said, 'God, somebody's made a mistake.'
But there it was,
in lights.
And I sat there and said, 'Remember,
you're not a star.' Yet there it was up in lights.
- Marilyn Monroe

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
- Groucho Marx

There are only three things women need in life:
food,
water, and compliments.
- Chris Rock

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

We Can Do It!
- WW II US Government Poster

Women don't want to hear what you think.
Women want to hear what they think -
in a deeper voice.
- Bill Cosby

Men and women belong to different species and communications
between them is still in its infancy.
- Bill Cosby

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior.
- Socrates

I'm always rather nervous about how you talk
about women who are active in politics,
whether they want to be talked about as women or as politicians.
- John F. Kennedy

I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness.
- Anais Nin

Well-behaved women seldom make history.
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

To a philosopher all news,
as it is called, is gossip,
and they who edit and read it
are old women over their tea.
- Henry David Thoreau

My decision to register women confirms what is already obvious
throughout our society -
that women are now providing
all types of skills in every profession.
The military should be no exception.
- Jimmy Carter

The real ornament of woman is her character, her purity.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I have thought a sufficient measure of civilization
is the influence of good women.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The battle for women's rights has been largely won.
- Margaret Thatcher

Women must try to do things as men have tried.
When they fail their failure must be
but a challenge to others.
- Amelia Earhart

A women's greatest asset is her beauty.
- Alex Comfort


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