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Let these funny Madame Swetchine Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
A friendship will be young after the lapse of half a century;
a passion is old at the end of three months.
- Madame Swetchine
From wine what sudden friendship springs.
- John Gay
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
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The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley
I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono
Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh) 
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis
A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous
Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan
Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb
Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache;
do be my enemy - for friendship's sake.
- William Blake
To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran
A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton
True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope
It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich
True friendship is never serene.
- Marquise de Sevigne
Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- George Bernard Shaw
No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)
I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau
Wishing to be friends is quick work,
but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.
- Aristotle
Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn
Business, you know, may bring money,
but friendship hardly ever does.
- Jane Austen
You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you.
You have to go to them sometimes.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Every goodbye is the birth of a memory.
- Dutch Proverb
Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart,
it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Friendship is a thing most necessary to life,
since without friends no one would choose to live,
though possessed of all other advantages.
- Aristotle
Love demands infinitely less than friendship.
- George Jean Nathan
Friendship is one mind in two bodies.
- Mencius
Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything.
It's the time we spent together that matters,
not how we left it.
- Trey Parker
No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship
of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth.
- Robert Southey
Friendship based solely upon gratitude
is like a photograph; with time it fades.
- Carmen Sylva
There's a big difference between a handout and a helping hand.
One's charity, the other's friendship.
- Little Joe' Cartwright in Bonanza - Rain from Heaven
We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone.
Only through our love and friendship can we
create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.
- Orson Welles
Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.
- Mike Murdock
However rare true love may be,
it is less so than true friendship.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
There are not many things in life
so beautiful as true friendship,
and not many things more uncommon.
- Anonymous
Friendship that flows from the heart
cannot be frozen by adversity,
as the water that flows from the spring
cannot congeal in winter.
- James Fenimore Cooper
One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship
is to understand and to be understood.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
True friendship can afford true knowledge.
It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.
- Henry David Thoreau
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.