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Jules Renard Quotes
Funny Quotes by Jules Renard

Let these funny Jules Renard Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West PHOTO

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous PHOTO

Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost PHOTO


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I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner PHOTO

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland


 

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran PHOTO

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous

Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West

Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates

We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson

Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran

Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart

Know the power and the peace of saying,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Hate is never conquered by hate,
Hate is only conquered by love.
- The Buddha

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West

Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz

To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran

Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

Love Without Limits.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson

Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- Anonymous

Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
- William Shakespeare

He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous

Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb

Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West

I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.