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Let these funny John Greenleaf Whittier Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
For all sad words of tongue and pen,
The saddest are these, "It might have been.
- John Greenleaf Whittier
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall 
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.
- Brigitte Bardot
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It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
I am a self-centered spoiled-rotten brat,
Thank you for nurturing me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
Human salvation lies in the hands
of the creatively maladjusted.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken
Write your Sad times in Sand,
Write your Good times in Stone.
- George Bernard Shaw
It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
A moment without joy is an eternity of sadness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
- Albert Einstein
Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter
Regrets are the tears of good deeds left undone
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
True friendship's laws are by this rule express'd,
Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.
- Alexander Pope
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
When It's Darkest, Men See the Stars.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What's done is done.
- William Shakespeare
I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller
Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal
Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.
- Swedish Proverb
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Those who own much have much to fear.
- Rabindranath Tagore
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton
There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson
The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley
Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore
You're only here for a short visit.
Don't hurry. Don't worry.
And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.
- Walter Hagen
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I leave no trace of wings in the air,
but I am glad I have had my flight.
- Rabindranath Tagore
A competent and self-confident person is
incapable of jealousy in anything.
Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck.
If you live through it, you start looking
very carefully to the right and to the left.
- Jean Kerr
Do not save your loving speeches
For your friends till they are dead;
Do not write them on their tombstones,
Speak them rather now instead.
- Anna Cummins
Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with.
It responds like a snail to our impatience,
then it races like a gazelle when you can't catch a breath.
- the movie Simon Birch
True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton
Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with..
- the movie Simon Birch
I simply can't build my hopes on a foundation
of confusion, misery and death...
I think... peace and tranquillity will return again.
- Anne Frank
When you're drowning, you don't say,
"I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice
me drowning and come and help me,"
you just scream.
- John Lennon
Before moving on, you have to clear away your cherished beliefs.
- Dick Raymond
Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.
- Paul Tournier
Stupidity is also a gift of God,
but one mustn't misuse it.
- Pope John Paul II
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
- Anonymous
There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere,
and many of us will have to pass
through the valley of the shadow of death
again and again before we reach
the mountaintop of our desires.
- Nelson Mandela
It is never good dwelling on good-byes ...
it is not the being together that it prolongs, it is the parting.
- Elizabeth Bibesco
I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau
I am but a grain of sand on the beach of life.
My footprints in the sands of time soon wash away.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves.
But deep down below the surface of the average conscience
a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
- Carl Jung
When we lose one we love,
our bitterest tears are called forth
by the memory of hours when we loved not enough.
- Maurice Maeterlinck
I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear
to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat.
- Sylvester Stallone
When you have to kill a man,
it costs nothing to be polite.
- Winston Churchill
Politeness is organized indifference.
- Paul Valery
Parting is all we know of heaven, and all we need of hell.
- Emily Dickinson
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live,
it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
- Oscar Wilde
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.