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Let these funny Jean Kerr Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck.
If you live through it, you start looking
very carefully to the right and to the left.
- Jean Kerr
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner 
There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
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Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
This report, by its very length, defends itself
against the risk of being read.
- Winston Churchill
This being grown up isn't all it's cracked up to be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
Guilt for being rich,
and guilt thinking that perhaps love and peace isn't enough
and you have to go and get shot or something.
- John Lennon
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov
Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous
The length of this document defends it well
against the risk of its being read.
- Winston Churchill
Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter
if only we could prevent girls from being girls.
- Anne Frank
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
Face the facts of being what you are,
for that is what changes what you are.
- Soren Kierkegaard
We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank
Honor your being,
Release each and every struggle,
Gather strength from life's storms,
Relax into the arms of spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon
Each of us dwells in a cathedral of our own BEing
that is created vast enough to encompass Unity with all creation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell
There is sanctuary in being alone with nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When the vast cathedral of our being
becomes a sanctuary for all creation,
we become the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
May your spirit soar throughout the vast cathedral of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To a very young child, mommy and daddy are gods.
We spend our lives looking to regain
that sense of being cared for and protected.
Thus religion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Freedom lies in being bold.
- Robert Frost
I actually enjoy being out of my depth - I thrive on it.
- Bono
The simplification of life is one of the steps to inner peace.
A persistent simplification will create an inner and outer well-being
that places harmony in one's life.
- Peace Pilgrim
Confidence comes not from always being right
but from not fearing to be wrong.
- Peter T. Mcintyre
We are addicted to being the way we are
- don Miguel Ruiz
I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life
as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
- Joseph Campbell
The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.
- Helen Keller
Pay attention to rainbows, and snowflakes,
butterflies and the songs of birds,
the crash of storm-driven waves
and the mirror-surface of a quiet pond.
Let the depths of nature become a part of your innermost being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Being angry is as close as a human being
can come to experiencing hell on earth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity,
but in being uninteresting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The most terrible poverty is loneliness
and the feeling of being unloved.
- Mother Teresa
Interdependence is and ought to be
as much the ideal of man as self-sufficiency.
Man is a social being.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
If being good isn't working - try being outrageous.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
As human beings, our greatness lies
not so much in being able to remake the world -
as in being able to remake ourselves.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted
is the most terrible poverty.
- Mother Teresa
To live a creative life
we must lose our fear of being wrong.
- Joseph Chilton Pearce
The man form is higher than the angel form;
of all forms it is the highest.
Man is the highest being in creation,
because he aspires to freedom.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
Lives based on having are less free
than lives based on doing or being.
- E.Y. Harburg
Have a Vision, a Dream.
Believe in that Vision.
Live that Vision with every fiber of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One of the advantages of being disorganized is that
one is always having surprising discoveries.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
It is never good dwelling on good-byes ...
it is not the being together that it prolongs, it is the parting.
- Elizabeth Bibesco
Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering
Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody,
I think that is a much greater hunger,
a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
- Mother Teresa
Being angry harms your physical,
emotional, and spiritual well-being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The more we care for the happiness of others,
the greater is our own sense of well-being.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled.
The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over
and let the beautiful stuff out.
- Ray Bradbury
Faith is the highest passion in a human being.
Many in every generation may not come that far, but none comes further.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Impart as much as you can of your spiritual being
to those who are on the road with you,
and accept as something precious
what comes back to you from them.
- Albert Schweitzer
Life is a continuity always and always.
There is no final destination it is going towards.
Just the pilgrimage, just the journey in itself is life,
not reaching to some point,
no goal - just dancing and being in pilgrimage,
moving joyously, without bothering about any destination.
- Osho
Courage is the art of being the only one
who knows you're scared to death.
- Earl Wilson
My vision of a real humanity is of pure individuals
relating to each other, but not tied in any relationship.
They will be loving to each other,
but not being possessive of each other.
They will be sharing with each other
all their joys and all their blessings,
but never even in their dreams thinking of dominating,
thinking of enslaving the other person.
- Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)
An idea that is not dangerous is
unworthy of being called an idea at all.
- Oscar Wilde
This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life.
- Anonymous
You are never given a wish without also
being given the power to make it true.
You may have to work for it, however.
- Richard Bach
Take a long walk alone in the woods -
leave the cellphone and music player at home.
Your whole BEing will appreciate it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Language... has created the word "loneliness"
to express the pain of being alone.
And it has created the word "solitude"
to express the glory of being alone.
- Paul Tillich
Our heart glows, and secret unrest gnaws at the root of our being.
Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
- Carl Jung
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.