Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Hedy Lamarr Quotes
Funny Quotes by Hedy Lamarr

Let these funny Hedy Lamarr Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

Any girl can be glamorous.
All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
- Hedy Lamarr

A good painting to me has always been like a friend.
It keeps me company, comforts and inspires.
- Hedy Lamarr

I am not ashamed to say that no man I ever met was my father's equal,
and I never loved any other man as much.
- Hedy Lamarr

My mother always called me an ugly weed,
so I never was aware of anything until I was older.
Plain girls should have someone telling them they are beautiful.
Sometimes this works miracles.
- Hedy Lamarr


 

If you use your imagination, you can look at any actress and see her nude...
I hope to make you use your imagination.
- Hedy Lamarr

Analysis gave me great freedom of emotions and fantastic confidence.
I felt I had served my time as a puppet.
- Hedy Lamarr

Because you don't live near a bakery doesn't mean you
have to go without cheesecake.
- Hedy Lamarr


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


I don't have any gnawing guilt over contributing to
any unhappiness suffered by my husbands.
They were as much to blame as I was.
- Hedy Lamarr

I have always felt that if a man gives you a solid
gold key to his door he is entitled to the courtesy of a visit.
- Hedy Lamarr

I often talked to Bing Crosby, and while I liked him,
I never understood why he was so popular.
To me his voice was just a gimmick.
- Hedy Lamarr

I have never seen a wrestling match or a prize fight,
and I don't want to.
When I find out a man is interested in these sports,
I drop him.
- Hedy Lamarr

I know when I'm working I seldom get into trouble.
My educated guess is that boredom has caused most of
the problems with Hollywood celebrities.
- Hedy Lamarr

Compromise and tolerance are magic words.
It took me 40 years to become philosophical.
- Hedy Lamarr

Making pictures, for an actress, is like betting,
for a gambler.
Each time you make a picture you try to analyze why you won or lost.
- Hedy Lamarr

I'm a sworn enemy of convention.
I despise the conventional in anything,
even the arts.
- Hedy Lamarr

It is easier for women to succeed in business,
the arts, and politics in America than in Europe.
- Hedy Lamarr

Confidence is something you're born with.
I know I had loads of it even at the age of 15.
- Hedy Lamarr

I must quit marrying men who feel inferior to me.
Somewhere there must be a man who could be my husband and not feel inferior.
- Hedy Lamarr

All a woman needs is a good bath, clean clothes,
and for her hair to be combed.
These things she can do herself.
I very seldom go to the hairdresser,
but when I do,
I just marvel.
- Hedy Lamarr

I can excuse everything but boredom.
Boring people don't have to stay that way.
- Hedy Lamarr

I've been an important star and lived a full life,
yet I only hve three close friends.
I guess that's all anyone can expect.
- Hedy Lamarr

I am a very good shot.
I have hunted for every kind of animal.
But I would never kill an animal during mating season.
- Hedy Lamarr

All my six husbands married me for different reasons.
- Hedy Lamarr

I've met the most interesting people while flying or on a boat.
These methods of travel seem to attract the kind of
people I want to be with.
- Hedy Lamarr

I find very often that very ugly women have really
handsome men and vice versa because they don't have any competition.
Sometimes handsome men have avoided me.
- Hedy Lamarr

I never go to funerals.
To me a person is dead when he breathes for the last time.
After that, your memories should be personal.
- Hedy Lamarr

It's funny about men and women.
Men pay in cash to get them and pay in cash to get rid of them.
Women pay emotionally coming and going.
Neither has it easy.
- Hedy Lamarr

I think women are concerned too much with their clothes.
Men don't really care that much about women's clothes.
If they like a girl, chances are they'll like her clothes.
- Hedy Lamarr

If I had my way everyone would have a psychiatrist.
When the brain is sick and you must throw up,
you do it by being purged in a psychiatrist's office.
- Hedy Lamarr

Any girl can look glamorous.
All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
- Hedy Lamarr

I don't believe in life after death.
But I do believe in some grinding destiny that watches over us on earth.
If I didn't, the safety valve would give and the boiler would explode.
- Hedy Lamarr

Many people are target people.
Once when Louis B. Mayer insulted me I poured a glass of water over his head.
- Hedy Lamarr

Jack Kennedy always said to me, Hedy,
get involved.
That's the secret of life.
Try everything.
Join everything.
Meet everybody.
- Hedy Lamarr

I know why most people never get rich.
They put the money ahead of the job.
If you just think of the job, the money will automatically follow.
This never fails.
- Hedy Lamarr

American men, as a group, seem to be interested in only two things,
money and breasts.
It seems a very narrow outlook.
- Hedy Lamarr

All creative people want to do the unexpected.
- Hedy Lamarr

Mr. DeMille's theory of sexual difference was that
marriage is an artificial state for women.
The want to be taken, ruled, raped.
That was his theory.
- Hedy Lamarr

The ladder of success in Hollywood is usually a press agent,
actor, director, producer, leading man;
and you are a star if you sleep with each of them in that order.
Crude, but true.
- Hedy Lamarr

I was in constant demand, in my professional life and my personal life.
- Hedy Lamarr

Dirt makes a man look masculine.
Let your hair blow in the wind, and all that.
It's OK.
All you have to do is look neat when you have to look neat.
- Hedy Lamarr

I remember all too well the premiere of Ecstasy when
I watched my bare bottom bounce across the screen and
my mother and father sat there in shock.
- Hedy Lamarr

When I attained a certain advanced intimacy with a man,
and I don't just mean sex, I married him.
- Hedy Lamarr

One of my favorite people is Gypsy Rose Lee.
She bears out the Biblical promise that he who has,
gets.
And I hope she gets a lot more.
- Hedy Lamarr

The ceremony took six minutes.
The marriage lasted about the same amount of time though
we didn't get a divorce for almost a year.
- Hedy Lamarr

Lawyers know how to take isolated complaints in a divorce
case and build them into one big one.
- Hedy Lamarr

I would tell anyone who wants something from someone
else to feign not wanting it.
People are perverse.
If you show great affection to them,
they'll run the other way.
- Hedy Lamarr

I advise everybody not to save: spend your money.
Most people save all their lives and leave it to somebody else.
Money is to be enjoyed.
- Hedy Lamarr

To be a star is to own the world and all the people in it.
After a taste of stardom, everything else is poverty.
- Hedy Lamarr

I'd rather wear jewels in my hair than anywhere else.
The face should have the advantage of this brilliance.
- Hedy Lamarr

Experts always know everything but the fine points.
When I took my citizenship exams, no one there knew
how the White House came to be called the White House.
- Hedy Lamarr

Most children turn out badly because they have the wrong parental image.
This doesn't mean their parents are criminal.
It means they are boring and cruel.
- Hedy Lamarr

Men are most virile and most attractive between the ages of 35 and 55.
Under 35 a man has too much to learn,
and I don't have time to teach him.
- Hedy Lamarr

If I were to name my favorite pastime,
I'd have to say talking about myself.
I love it and I think most other people do too.
We need, people like us, more listeners and less talkers.
- Hedy Lamarr

I don't fear death because I don't fear anything I don't understand.
When I start to think about it, I order a massage and it goes away.
- Hedy Lamarr

Let any pretty girl announce a divorce in Hollywood
and the wolves come running.
Fresh meat for the beast, and they are always hungry.
- Hedy Lamarr

I enjoy countless hundreds pursuing me.
I love those who love me the most.
I am sort of flattered by men showing attention to me.
- Hedy Lamarr

Dates with actors, finally, just seemed to me evenings of shop talk.
I got sick of it after a hile.
So the more famous I became, the more I narrowed down my choices.
- Hedy Lamarr

I was born an only child in Vienna, Austria.
My father found hours to sit by me by the library fire and tell fairy stories.
- Hedy Lamarr

The public pays and feels it is entitled to participate
in the personal affairs of a performer.
- Hedy Lamarr

I appreciate subtlety.
I have never enjoyed a kiss in front of the camera.
There's nothing to it except not getting your lipstick smeared.
- Hedy Lamarr

I have not been that wise.
Health I have taken for granted.
Love I have demanded, perhaps too much and too often.
As for money, I have only realized its true worth when I didn't have it.
- Hedy Lamarr

Perhaps my problem in marriage-and it is the problem
of many women-was to want both intimacy and independence.
It is a difficult line to walk, yet both needs are important to a marriage.
- Hedy Lamarr

Some men like a dull life - they like the routine of eating breakfast,
going to work, coming home, petting the dog,
watching TV, kissing the kids, and going to bed.
Stay clear of it - it's often catching.
- Hedy Lamarr

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
- Walt Disney

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
- Groucho Marx

The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous

Any man today who returns from work,
sinks into a chair,
and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.
- Bill Cosby

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde


Thank you for visiting: Hedy Lamarr Quotes - Funny Quotes by Hedy Lamarr.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sign-up for your free subscription to my Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email.

Your E-Mail Address:
Your Name:

To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you.

Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way.


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.