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Guy Ritchie Quotes
Funny Quotes by Guy Ritchie

Let these funny Guy Ritchie Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

I'd like to work with the missus, but there's nothing
in the pipeline at the moment.
- Guy Ritchie

I like death.
I'm a big fan of it.
- Guy Ritchie

You get a different kick out of all aspects of filmmaking.
- Guy Ritchie

I like to think that we've got a plan,
so let's stick to it.
That said, once we've stuck to it, we're allowed as
much improvisation as anyone cares to indulge themselves in.
- Guy Ritchie


 

I love fatherhood.
I could bang on about kids forever.
- Guy Ritchie

The best thing to do is find one person in your life
and try to love them unconditionally.
If you've accomplished that, you've accomplished a lot.
- Guy Ritchie

I'm not politically motivated.
I used to be - passionately.
I used to be very Left wing.
Then I went very Right wing, and now I rest somewhere in the middle.
- Guy Ritchie


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We always have a take that's 'one for fun',
so once you've got what you need, you can do what you like.
Something does occasionally pop out of that tree.
I'm always open to ideas.
- Guy Ritchie

I'm not under too much of an illusion of how smart
or un-smart I am because filmmaking ultimately is about teamwork.
- Guy Ritchie

I think there's a natural system in your own head about
how much violence the scene warrants.
It's not an intellectual process, it's an instinctive process.
- Guy Ritchie

Previously, on Lock, Stock, I went to bed at two in
the morning and woke up at five in the morning,
and on this one I was known to nod off on the set occasionally.
- Guy Ritchie

My principal job is to make interesting and entertaining films,
and I'm not proud of which format or which particular technique I use.
I just wanted the film to look good.
- Guy Ritchie

The idea is that that there is no such thing as an external enemy.
- Guy Ritchie

I suppose directing on set is the most fun because
it's a good crack and you feel you're on the battlefield
whereas writing is a fairly solitary undertaking.
- Guy Ritchie

What I liked about American movies when I was a kid
was that they're sort of larger than life and I think
I'm still suffering from that reaction.
- Guy Ritchie

We can all be conned but at what point do we realize
that we're being conned and to what point do we allow ourselves to be conned?
- Guy Ritchie

In fact, 95% of the people in my films have been nothing
less than a pleasure to work with.
- Guy Ritchie

I got too fed up with films that didn't make you think.
I liked the idea of one that you'd have to be dancing around with.
I like my mind to be engaged when I watch a film.
- Guy Ritchie

I got into film-making because I was interested in
making entertaining movies,
which I felt there was a lack of.
- Guy Ritchie

Other than the fact that I like a country house,
I can't think of anything I'd want to spend my money on.
- Guy Ritchie

On Lock, Stock, we didn't know where the money for
shooting the next day was coming from.
- Guy Ritchie

Yeah, I'm certainly a lot more confident on this one
than I was one the last one,
which I think can be a good thing and a bad thing.
But, at least I slept while making this film.
- Guy Ritchie

I can understand that the whole world is interested in my wife Madonna.
That's even why I married her.
- Guy Ritchie

We're quite volatile as individuals,
but that doesn't work exponentially when we are together.
Relationships are about eating humble pie.
- Guy Ritchie

If somebody has a better idea than me,
I'll take it if it surpasses what we have on the page
because at the end of the day,
it's me that takes the credit anyway!
- Guy Ritchie

We are not that flash, me or the missus.
In fact, we are quite low-maintenance.
- Guy Ritchie

After Lock, Stock, all these really nasty small town
characters came knocking at my door trying to tell me stories,
and somehow I ended up with this guy whose brother
was feeding people to pigs,
and that's what he did to get rid of people.
- Guy Ritchie

It's not easy to strap yourself down to a desk and
bash on a keyboard when you know you can direct lots of films,
because directing films is fun and interactive and gregarious.
Writing isn't.
- Guy Ritchie

The English countryside is the most staggeringly beautiful place.
I can't spend as much time there as I like,
but I like everything about it.
I like fishing, I like clay- pigeon shooting.
- Guy Ritchie

Well, what I try to do is throw as much mud on the
wall as I possibly can and just see what sticks,
what shines as quirky or more interesting that the others,
and I try to cling onto that one, somehow join a link from there to there.
- Guy Ritchie

All the other guys I think had a scream on Lock,
Stock.
They just had a laugh and a crack, and thought it would never come out;
they were just having a good time.
On this one, I felt that.
- Guy Ritchie

Jake Green isn't just Jake Green.
Jake represents all of us.
The colour green is the central column of the spectrum
and the name Jake has all sorts of numerical values.
All things come back to him within the film's world of cons and games.
- Guy Ritchie

I am not involved in any 'issues' because it's too sensitive for me -
or my wife -
to get involved.
Every time we express an opinion it becomes a whole thing in itself.
And the whole purpose of living in the countryside
was to get away from hundreds of people.
My wife fell off a horse, and suddenly there are hundreds of people around.
- Guy Ritchie

It's about not letting the internal enemy,
the real enemy, have his way because the more he does the stronger he becomes.
The film's about the devastating results that can manifest
from the internal enemy being unbridled and allowed to unleash chaos.
- Guy Ritchie

They're all based on factual characters.
Well, a good amount of them.
That's why I was attracted to this genre anyways,
because these characters are so large and cartoonish,
they're like caricatures, I just felt that there had
to be a film made about them.
- Guy Ritchie

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin

I like marriage.
The idea.
- Toni Morrison

It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!
- the movie Shrek 2 (2004)

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

It's cookies, he smells like cookies,
and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.
- the movie Michael

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)

I like children - fried.
- W. C. Fields

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
- Fred Allen

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender,
but you don't have a top for it.
- Jerry Seinfeld

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Technological progress is like an axe
in the hands of a pathological criminal.
- Albert Einstein

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60.
They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall.
- Frank Lloyd Wright


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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