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Grover Cleveland Quotes
Funny Quotes by Grover Cleveland

Let these funny Grover Cleveland Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

Your every voter, as surely as your chief magistrate,
exercises a public trust.
- Grover Cleveland

A truly American sentiment recognizes the dignity of
labor and the fact that honor lies in honest toil.
- Grover Cleveland

Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.
The relative positions to be assumed by man and woman
in the working out of our civilization were assigned
long ago by a higher intelligence than ours.
- Grover Cleveland

After an existence of nearly 20 years of almost innocuous desuetude,
these laws are brought forth.
- Grover Cleveland


 

He mocks the people who proposes that the government
shall protect the rich and that they in turn will care for the laboring poor.
- Grover Cleveland

In the scheme of our national government,
the presidency is preeminently the people's office.
- Grover Cleveland

Public officers are the servants and agents of the people,
to execute the laws which the people have made.
- Grover Cleveland


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Honor lies in honest toil.
- Grover Cleveland

Communism is a hateful thing, and a menace to peace
and organized government.
- Grover Cleveland

Party honesty is party expediency.
- Grover Cleveland

It is better to be defeated standing for a high principle
than to run by committing subterfuge.
- Grover Cleveland

I have considered the pension list of the republic a roll of honor.
- Grover Cleveland

A government for the people must depend for its success on the intelligence,
the morality, the justice, and the interest of the people themselves.
- Grover Cleveland

Though the people support the government;
the government should not support the people.
- Grover Cleveland

Officeholders are the agents of the people,
not their masters.
- Grover Cleveland

Some day I will be better remembered.
- Grover Cleveland

The ship of democracy, which has weathered all storms,
may sink through the mutiny of those on board.
- Grover Cleveland

The United States is not a nation to which peace is a necessity.
- Grover Cleveland

No man has ever yet been hanged for breaking the spirit of a law.
- Grover Cleveland

The lesson should be constantly enforced that though
the people support the Government,
Government should not support the people.
- Grover Cleveland

Minds do not act together in public;
they simply stick together; and when their private activities are resumed,
they fly apart again.
- Grover Cleveland

Sometimes I wake at night in the White House and rub
my eyes and wonder if it is not all a dream.
- Grover Cleveland

I have tried so hard to do right.
- Grover Cleveland

I know there is a Supreme Being who rules the affairs
of men and whose goodness and mercy have always followed the American people,
and I know He will not turn from us now if we humbly
and reverently seek His powerful aid.
- Grover Cleveland

I would rather the man who presents something for my
consideration subject me to a zephyr of truth and a
gentle breeze of responsibility rather than blow me
down with a curtain of hot wind.
- Grover Cleveland

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner PHOTO

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer PHOTO

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you;
she is after your barn.
- Hesiod

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.
- Kevin James

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Always end the name of your child with a vowel,
so that when you yell, the name will carry.
- Bill Cosby

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
- Albert Einstein

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Never raise your hand to your children -
it leaves your midsection unprotected.
- Robert Orben

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
- Casey Stengel

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb
cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
- Dave Barry

Smoking kills.
If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
- Brooke Shields

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Have enough sense to know, ahead of time,
when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.
- Marilyn vos Savant

Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- the movie The Godfather, Part II

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

As you awaken,
may your dreams greet you by name,
and may you answer, "Yes!"
- Mary Anne Radmacher

God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This is your day to Laugh at Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
- Babe Ruth

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places.
- E. Joseph Cossman

Choose to soar. Choose to fly your dreams.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.