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Graham Greene Quotes
Funny Quotes by Graham Greene

Let these funny Graham Greene Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

Champagne, if you are seeking the truth,
is better than a lie detector.
It encourages a man to be expansive,
even reckless,
while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.
- Graham Greene

There is always one moment in childhood when the door
opens and lets the future in.
- Graham Greene

A solitary laugh is often a laugh of superiority.
- Graham Greene

Reality in our century is not something to be faced.
- Graham Greene


 

A petty reason perhaps why novelists more and more
try to keep a distance from journalists is that novelists
are trying to write the truth and journalists are trying to write fiction.
- Graham Greene

Morality comes with the sad wisdom of age,
when the sense of curiosity has withered.
- Graham Greene

A movie is not a book.
If the source material is a book, you cannot be too respectful of the book.
All you owe to the book is the spirit.
- Graham Greene


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No human being can really understand another,
and no one can arrange another's happiness.
- Graham Greene

My two fingers on a typewriter have never connected with my brain.
My hand on a pen does.
A fountain pen, of course.
Ball-point pens are only good for filling out forms on a plane.
- Graham Greene

In Switzerland they had brotherly love,
five hundred years of democracy and peace,
and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock!
- Graham Greene

It is impossible to go through life without trust:
that is to be imprisoned in the worst cell of all,
oneself.
- Graham Greene

Unhappiness in a child accumulates because he sees
no end to the dark tunnel.
The thirteen weeks of a term might just as well be thirteen years.
- Graham Greene

Against the beautiful and the clever and the successful,
one can wage a pitiless war, but not against the unattractive:
then the millstone weighs on the breast.
- Graham Greene

We are all of us resigned to death: it's life we aren't resigned to.
- Graham Greene

If you have abandoned one faith, do not abandon all faith.
There is always an alternative to the faith we lose.
Or is it the same faith under another mask?
- Graham Greene

Nobody thinks in terms of human beings.
Governments don't, why should we? They talk about people and the proletariat;
I talk about the suckers and the mugs.
It's the same thing.
- Graham Greene

Success is more dangerous than failure,
the ripples break over a wider coastline.
- Graham Greene

He felt the loyalty we feel to unhappiness -
the sense that is where we really belong.
- Graham Greene

Heresy is another word for freedom of thought.
- Graham Greene

Media is just a word that has come to mean bad journalism.
- Graham Greene

The economy of a novelist is a little like that of
a careful housewife who is unwilling to throw away
anything that might perhaps serve its turn.
- Graham Greene

They are always saying God loves us.
If that's love I'd rather have a bit of kindness.
- Graham Greene

Innocence is like a dumb leper who has lost his bell,
wandering the world, meaning no harm.
- Graham Greene

God created a number of possibilities in case some
of his prototypes failed -
that is the meaning of evolution.
- Graham Greene

The world is not black and white.
More like black and grey.
- Graham Greene

When we are not sure, we are alive.
- Graham Greene

In human relationships, kindness and lies are worth a thousand truths.
- Graham Greene

Thrillers are like life, more like life than you are.
- Graham Greene

Sentimentality - that's what we call the sentiment we don't share.
- Graham Greene

Point me out the happy man and I will point you out either egotism,
selfishness, evil - or else an absolute ignorance.
- Graham Greene

The world doesn't make any heroes anymore.
- Graham Greene

The moment comes when a character does or says something
you hadn't thought about.
At that moment he's alive and you leave it to him.
- Graham Greene

Failure too is a form of death.
- Graham Greene

Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how
all those who do not write,
compose or paint can manage to escape the madness,
melancholia, the panic and fear which is inherent in a human situation.
- Graham Greene

I have often noticed that a bribe has that effect -
it changes a relation.
The man who offers a bribe gives away a little of his own importance;
the bribe once accepted,
he becomes the inferior, like a man who has paid for a woman.
- Graham Greene

Innocence always calls mutely for protection when we
would be so much wiser to guard ourselves against it:
innocence is like a dumb leper who has lost his bell,
wandering the world, meaning no harm.
- Graham Greene

The great advantage of being a writer is that you can spy on people.
You're there, listening to every word,
but part of you is observing.
Everything is useful to a writer, you see -
every scrap,
even the longest and most boring of luncheon parties.
- Graham Greene

The truth has never been of any real value to any human being -
it is a symbol for mathematicians and philosophers to pursue.
In human relations kindness and lies are worth a thousand truths.
- Graham Greene

A murderer is regarded by the conventional world as
something almost monstrous,
but a murderer to himself is only an ordinary man.
It is only if the murderer is a good man that he can
be regarded as monstrous.
- Graham Greene

People talk about the courage of condemned men walking
to the place of execution:
sometimes it needs as much courage to walk with any
kind of bearing towards another person's habitual misery.
- Graham Greene

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

Some people wanted champagne and caviar
when they should have had beer and hot dogs.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I'm not big on Champagne, but I'd take along a bottle
of Cristal to pop for when the boat comes to the rescue.
- Sam Neill

Meeting Franklin Roosevelt was like opening your first bottle of champagne;
knowing him was like drinking it.
- Winston Churchill

There's nothing undignified about lying about all day
and being waited on by servants,
sipping bloody champagne.
- Jeffrey Bernard

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking,
unless it be lobster salad and Champagne,
the only true feminine and becoming viands.
- Lord Byron

Whiskey's to tough, Champagne costs too much,
Vodka puts my mouth in gear.
I hope this refrain, Will help me explain,
As a matter of fact, I like beer.
- Tom T. Hall

For a while we had trouble trying to get the sound
of a champagne cork exploding out of the bottle.
I solved the problem by sticking my finger in my mouth and popping it out.
- Lawrence Welk

I left Guiding Light so many times, they ran out of champagne.
- Michael Zaslow

We are staunch and true and in rather a champagne mood.
- Franz Marc

Great love affairs start with Champagne and end with tisane.
- Honore de Balzac

I hate champagne more than anything in the world next to Seven-Up.
- Elaine Dundy

The William Penn Hotel in Pittsburgh...
was the place where Champagne Music was born.
- Lawrence Welk

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.
- Tom Waits

I think getting drunk is the key to flying comfortably.
A couple of bloody marys or several glasses of champagne,
and suddenly it's like you're on a roller coaster.
- Amanda Peet

The House of Lords is like a glass of champagne that has stood for five days.
- Clement Attlee

A cause may be inconvenient, but it's magnificent.
It's like champagne or high heels, and one must be
prepared to suffer for it.
- Arnold Bennett

All the times being like, 'Who rented this car and
why are we going to this place?' You take the easy route and go,
'Oh, thanks for the champagne.
I'll have another.'
- Rosario Dawson

Fighting is like champagne.
It goes to the heads of cowards as quickly as of heroes.
Any fool can be brave on a battlefield when it's be brave or else be killed.
- Margaret Mitchell

The champagne was flowing like the Potomac in flood.
- Ben Bradlee

One time I introduced my orchestra as the Shampoo Music
Makers instead of the Champagne Music Makers.
- Lawrence Welk

When the ball dropped in 1999, I was holding dough
and champagne in my hands and holding my kids.
- Method Man

After all, what is your host's purpose in having a
party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself;
if that were their sole purpose,
they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
- P. J. O'Rourke

I don't have a sense of entitlement or that I deserve this.
You'd be surprised at the lack of competition between nominees -
I think a lot of it's imposed from the outside.
Can I have my champagne now?
- Cate Blanchett

There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.
- Kevin James

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

Life is like music; it must be composed by ear,
feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
- Samuel Butler

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau

When you feel worried and depressed,
consciously form a smile on your face and act upbeat
until the happy feeling becomes genuine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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