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George Percy Quotes
Funny Quotes by George Percy

Let these funny George Percy Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

We put the Children to death...
by throwing them overboard and shooting out their brains in the water.
- George Percy

I washed a sock.
Then I put it in the dryer.
When I took it out, it was gone.
- Rod Schmidt

You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton

My father would take me to the playground,
and put me on mood swings.
- Jay London


 

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
- Joan Rivers

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill


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Never put off till tomorrow
what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain

When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor

The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein

Few things are harder to put up with
than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton PHOTO

As I have discovered by examining my past,
I started out as a child.
Coincidentally, so did my brother.
My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket,
so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell,
who taught me what was meant by "survival of the fittest."
- Bill Cosby

It is easier to put on slippers
than to carpet the entire world
- Al Franken

My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you
before you can move on.
- the movie Forrest Gump

You can't put a limit on anything.
The more you dream, the farther you get.
- Michael Phelps

You only get out what you put in.
- Anonymous

When you put on a uniform,
there are certain inhibitions that you accept.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Put on your own oxygen mask first.
- Airline companies

If you paint in your mind a picture of
bright and happy expectations,
you put yourself into a condition conducive to your goal.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Flowers are the sweetest things God ever made and forgot to put a soul into.
- Henry Ward Beecher

If you want to be happy,
put your effort into controlling the sail, not the wind.
- Anonymous

The real sin against life is to abuse and destroy beauty,
even one's own even more, one's own,
for that has been put in our care and we are responsible for its well-being.
- Katherine Anne Porter

The way to become rich is to put all your eggs in one
basket and then watch that basket.
- Andrew Carnegie

Even when I work with computers, with high technology,
I always try to put in the touch of the hand.
- Issey Miyake

I want to put a ding in the universe.
- Steve Jobs

Never put passion before principle.
Even if win, you lose.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid 2

You can do anything you put your mind to.
- Anonymous

Believe that none of the effort you put
into coming closer to God is ever wasted -
even if in the end you don't achieve
what you are striving for.
- Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

I go to nature to be soothed and healed,
and to have my senses put in order.
- John Burroughs

It is not the magnitude of our actions
but the amount of love
that is put into them that matters.
- Mother Teresa

Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope,
to love - and to put its trust in life.
- Joseph Conrad

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths,
but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.
- Anne Frank

Wise men put their trust in ideas
and not in circumstances
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.
- Abraham Lincoln

Only love has the ability to put you in that state of bliss
- don Miguel Ruiz

No matter how old we become, we can still call them
'Holy Mother' and 'Father' and put a child-like trust in them.
- Desmond Morris

A man is relieved and gay when he has
put his heart into his work and done his best;
but what he has said or done otherwise
shall give him no peace.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you put all your strength and faith and vigor into
a job and try to do the best you can,
the money will come.
- Lawrence Welk

Let us honor all children,
and put ourselves into service
preparing a magnificent
earthly home for future generations.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Americans want action for their money.
They are fascinated by its self-reproducing qualities if it's put to work.
- Paula Nelson

Put your nose into the Bible everyday.
It is your spiritual food.
And then share it.
Make a vow not to be a lukewarm Christian.
- Kirk Cameron

Take young researchers, put them together in virtual seclusion,
give them an unprecedented degree of freedom and turn
up the pressure by fostering competitiveness.
- James D. Watson

Anyone can heal who believes that he can
and will take the time to put that belief into motion.
- Ernest Holmes

Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air.
They are where they should be.
Now put the foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau

We've put more effort into helping folks reach old
age than into helping them enjoy it.
- Frank Howard Clark

I've always put my family first and that's just the way it is.
- Jamie Lee Curtis

I think the environment should be put in the category
of our national security.
Defense of our resources is just as important as defense abroad.
Otherwise what is there to defend?
- Robert Redford

Architecture starts when you carefully put two bricks together.
There it begins.
- Ludwig Mies van der Rohe

Simply put, you believe that things
or people make you unhappy,
but this is not accurate.
You make yourself unhappy.
- Wayne Dyer

Comedy has to be based on truth.
You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.
- Sid Caesar

Wisdom is the power to put our time and our knowledge to the proper use.
- Thomas J. Watson

What I recognized is that you can't put it together.
It's already together, and what you have to do
is experience it being together.
- Werner Erhard

Adolescence is when girls experience social pressure
to put aside their authentic selves and to display
only a small portion of their gifts.
- Mary Pipher

If you have built castles in the air,
your work need not be lost;
that is where they should be.
Now put foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau

You end up as you deserve.
In old age you must put up with the face,
the friends, the health, and the children you have earned.
- Judith Viorst

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
- Thomas Jefferson
(also attributed to Benjamin Franklin and Lord Chesterfield)

Mankind must put an end to war
before war puts an end to mankind.
- John F. Kennedy

If your house is burning, wouldn't you try and put out the fire?
- Imran Khan

We must cultivate our own garden.
When man was put in the garden of Eden he was put there so that he should work,
which proves that man was not born to rest.
- Voltaire

It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said,
'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.'
- Sam Levenson

We can all put weight on or lose weight.
- Keith Emerson

God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame.
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

What's the use of a fine house if you haven't got
a tolerable planet to put it on?
- Henry David Thoreau

Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do...
but how much love we put in that action.
- Mother Teresa

A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him,
and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation.
- Moliere


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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