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Gene Shalit Quotes
Funny Quotes by Gene Shalit

Let these funny Gene Shalit Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

Some films could only have been cast in one way:
Screen tests were given and the losers got the parts.
- Gene Shalit

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
- Mitch Hedberg


 

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
- Steven Wright

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea;
but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
- Abraham Lincoln

I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf


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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden PHOTO

I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard PHOTO

Always do the right thing.
It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain

Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
- Anonymous

Some days just go to Hell faster than others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
- Winston Churchill

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Some days you're the dog,
and some days you're the hydrant.
- Anonymous

In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

Some years ago I became president of Columbia University
and learned within 24 hours to be ready
to speak at the drop of a hat,
and I learned something more, the trustees were expected
to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked,
in which you can walk with love and reverence.
- Henry David Thoreau PHOTO

The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does
not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses.
They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton,
they laughed at the Wright brothers.
But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
- Carl Sagan

Some days are simply meant for playing.
- Mary Anne Radmacher PHOTO

Why, I'd like nothing better than to achieve
some bold adventure, worthy of our trip.
- Aristophanes

I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau

When someone has a strong intuitive connection,
Buddhism suggests that it's because of karma,
some past connection.
- Richard Gere

Weariness comes, on some days, from lack of service to self.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

There is some good in the worst of us
and some evil in the best of us.
When we discover this,
we are less prone to hate our enemies.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Life is pretty simple:
You do some stuff.
Most fails. Some works.
You do more of what works.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like dancing.
If we have a big floor, many people will dance.
Some will get angry when the rhythm changes.
But life is changing all the time.
- don Miguel Ruiz

It is nearly a certainty that some
of your expectations will not be met today -
choose Joy anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My father taught me that the only way you can make
good at anything is to practice,
and then practice some more.
- Pete Rose

Some of the most important conversations I've ever
had occurred at my family's dinner table.
- Bob Ehrlich

Some men like to make a little garden out of life and walk down a path.
- Jean Anouilh

There is always some specific moment when we become
aware that our youth is gone;
but,
years after, we know it was much later.
- Mignon McLaughlin

A good garden may have some weeds.
- Thomas Fuller

Our grandchildren's grandchildren will shake their heads in shame
at some of the beliefs that we hold most dear today -
the question is, which ones?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

That's what keeps me going: dreaming,
inventing, then hoping and dreaming some more in order to keep dreaming.
- Joseph Barbera

You will find poetry nowhere unless you bring some of it with you.
- Joseph Joubert

Most children threaten at times to run away from home.
This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
- Phyllis Diller

Some people strengthen the society just by being the kind of people they are.
- John W. Gardner

When friends stop being frank and useful to each other,
the whole world loses some of its radiance.
- Anatole Broyard

To be wholly devoted to some intellectual exercise
is to have succeeded in life.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the
time I get home they'll be ripe.
- Ryan Stiles

Some people are born on third base and go through life
thinking they hit a triple.
- Barry Switzer

To think that the new economy is over is like somebody
in London in 1830 saying the entire industrial revolution
is over because some textile manufacturers in Manchester went broke.
- Alvin Toffler

Miracles are a retelling in small letters
of the very same story
which is written across the whole world
in letters too large for some of us to see.
- C. S. Lewis

Every time you hear a bell ring,
it means that some angel's just got his wings.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

Every man I meet is in some way my superior.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Humor is richly rewarding to the person who employs it.
It has some value in gaining and holding attention,
but it has no persuasive value at all.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

Finding some quiet time in your life,
I think, is hugely important.
- Mariel Hemingway

The people of the world genuinely want peace.
Some day the leaders of the world are going to
have to give in and give it to them.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Some people wanted champagne and caviar
when they should have had beer and hot dogs.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

A moral being is one who is capable of reflecting
on his past actions and their motives -
of approving of some and disapproving of others.
- Charles Darwin

Some people are willing to pay the price and it's the
same with staying healthy or eating healthy.
There's some discipline involved.
There's some sacrifices.
- Mike Ditka

This film cost $31 million.
With that kind of money I could have invaded some country.
- Clint Eastwood

Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet.
- Roger Miller

We seem to have a compulsion these days to bury time
capsules in order to give those people living in the
next century or so some idea of what we are like.
- Alfred Hitchcock

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet,
isn't much better than tedious disease.
- Alexander Pope

Beauty for some provides escape, who gain a happiness
in eyeing the gorgeous buttocks of the ape or Autumn
sunsets exquisitely dying.
- Langston Hughes

Some people dream of success
while others wake up and work hard at it.
- Anonymous

Some'll rob you with a six gun,
Some with a fountain pen.
- Woody Guthrie

Every time I have some moment on a seashore,
or in the mountains, or sometimes in a quiet forest,
I think this is why the environment has to be preserved.
- Bill Bradley

Life is a continuity always and always.
There is no final destination it is going towards.
Just the pilgrimage, just the journey in itself is life,
not reaching to some point,
no goal - just dancing and being in pilgrimage,
moving joyously, without bothering about any destination.
- Osho

The proper means of increasing the love we bear our
native country is to reside some time in a foreign one.
- William Shenstone

Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.
- Edward W. Howe


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.