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Gary Ackerman Quotes
Funny Quotes by Gary Ackerman

Let these funny Gary Ackerman Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

If a jerk burns the flag, America is not threatened,
democracy is not under siege, freedom is not at risk.
- Gary Ackerman

Sometimes people who are Jewish are held to a higher
standard which sometimes we take great pride in.
- Gary Ackerman

India is a regional power.
It does not need anything to establish it.
- Gary Ackerman

We have some Jewish members of Congress,
not a lot but there's a bunch of us.
- Gary Ackerman


 

I'm in favor of immigration but we also need rules.
- Gary Ackerman

I am always fascinated by India.
- Gary Ackerman

We have to have some rules and regulations in America,
or the world would empty out here.
- Gary Ackerman


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No, you can't call your vote in.
You have to be there on the floor to vote.
- Gary Ackerman

I just thought it was unconscionable for the Congress
to insert itself into this debate.
We are particularly unqualified to make that decision
and to intrude ourselves into the lives of this family.
- Gary Ackerman

If everyone really knew what a jerk I am in real life,
I wouldn't be so adored in the slightest.
- Christian Bale

I interviewed Johnny Knoxville once.
I was kind of scared to interview him because I thought he might be a real jerk,
but he was really nice, and I ripped his chest hair out.
- Rachel Perry

I'm just starting to scratch the surface of what really
makes me happy and it's taken me a while to admit that
acting like a little child and being a jerk and a punk is fun.
- Leonardo DiCaprio

Sometimes you are being interviewed by someone and you think,
if I knew this person they'd be my best friend.
Other times you're being interviewed by a complete jerk.
- Judith Guest

I want to be a jerk like the rest of my friends,
and have fun, and not care about the consequences,
but I just can't now.
- Leonardo DiCaprio

I felt there's a wealth in Jewish tradition,
a great inheritance.
I'd be a jerk not to take advantage of it.
- Herman Wouk

You make a lot of films, do you? You make a lot of films yourself? Yeah,
I'd like to see you make a film first before you get to talk about it.
What a jerk.
- George Clooney

I'm human and I've played my butt off for ten years.
I'm not a loafer, I'm not a jerk, I'm a baseball player.
- Reggie Jackson

If a guy is over 25 percent jerk, he's in trouble.
And Henry was 95 percent.
- Lee Iacocca

For every 10 good things, there's always some jerk
that wants to say something bad.
- Devon Sawa

Most of my stuff before CSI was kind of the jerk boyfriend,
so I thought this was one of those deals,
where these two have a thing going on,
so we had a scene where they make out.
- George Eads

What's the difference between tough love and acting like a jerk?
- Ricki Lake

Hemingway was a jerk.
- Harold Robbins

Johnny Rotten.
He's a big fan of mine.
I used to see him out in the audience in England and
he'd stand up and holler.
He's funny.
Smart too, and a nice guy.
Don't think he's a jerk because he isn't.
- Don Van Vliet

Music is for people.
The word 'pop' is simply short for popular.
It means that people like it.
I'm just a normal jerk who happens to make music.
As long as my brain and fingers work,
I'm cool.
- Eddie Van Halen

You can ask anybody in the room.
My numbers are the worst in here but I'm still a jerk to everybody,
yelling at everybody, getting them going.
Once I get it back, then I'll be even worse to the guys.
- Billy Koch

I don't mind if somebody comes up to me and shakes my hand,
but if I'm in the middle of a restaurant and somebody asks me for a picture,
I can be a jerk and say no, or I can say yes and draw
more attention to myself,
which is exactly the opposite of what I want.
- Macaulay Culkin

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
- Casey Stengel

I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

That's my only goal.
Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone
has a good time and works hard.
- Joe Rogan

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

EVERYONE has the right to make an ass out of themselves.
- Harold and Maude (The movie )

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older,
I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
- Bill Cosby

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
- Winston Churchill

Always remember that you are absolutely unique.
Just like everyone else.
- Margaret Mead

If everyone demanded peace
instead of another television set,
then there'd be peace.
- John Lennon

I am free of prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
- W. C. Fields

If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.
- Mo Udall

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter

Everyone is a genius at least once a year;
a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg

Everyone who got where he is,
had to begin where he was.
- Richard L. Evans

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

Everything has beauty,
but not everyone sees it.
- Confucius

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences.
No one can eliminate prejudices -
just recognize them.
- Edward R. Murrow

Everyone should carefully observe
which way his heart draws him,
and then choose that way with all his strength.
- Hasidic Proverb

If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap
whence everyone must take an equal portion,
most people would be contented to take their own and depart.
- Socrates

Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect
and the absence of ego.
Love yourself.
Love everyone around you.
Love everyone in the whole world.
Know that your own life is of infinite importance,
as is every other life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein

Everyone thinks of changing the world,
but no one thinks of changing himself.
- Leo Tolstoy

Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side
which he never shows to anybody.
- Mark Twain

Everyone believes that their beliefs are the right ones -
that is why they are called beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The path to happiness is forgiveness of everyone
and gratitude for everything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news.
The good news is that you don't know how great you can be!
How much you can love!
What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!
- Anne Frank

I have compassion for everyone who has ever
been a player upon the stage of my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can't be everything to everyone.
- Bill Cosby

The interesting thing about being a mother is that everyone wants pets,
but no one but me cleans the kitty litter.
- Meryl Streep

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.
- Plato

I forgive everyone for everything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I spent the first fourteen years of my life convinced
that my looks were hideous.
Adolescence is painful for everyone,
I know,
but mine was plain weird.
- Uma Thurman

In my opinion, no single design is apt to be optimal for everyone.
- Donald Norman

Everyone hears what you say.
Friends listen to what you say.
Best friends listen to what you don't say.
- Anonymous

Let everyone try and find that
as a result of daily prayer
he adds something new to his life,
something with which nothing can be compared.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

To himself everyone is immortal; he may know that he is going to die,
but he can never know that he is dead.
- Samuel Butler

Today, I See Spirit In The Face of Everyone I Meet.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everyone enjoys doing the kind of work
for which he is best suited.
- Napoleon Hill

There are two kinds of stones,
as everyone knows,
one of which rolls.
- Amelia Earhart

Building one space station for everyone was and is insane:
we should have built a dozen.
- Larry Niven

To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries.
- Aldous Huxley


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.