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G. Gordon Liddy Quotes
Funny Quotes by G. Gordon Liddy

Let these funny G. Gordon Liddy Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

They were afraid, never having learned what I taught myself:
Defeat the fear of death and welcome the death of fear.
- G. Gordon Liddy

Why is it there are so many more horses' asses than there are horses?
- G. Gordon Liddy

Defeat the fear of death and welcome the death of fear.
- G. Gordon Liddy

The press is like the peculiar uncle you keep in the attic -
just one of those unfortunate things.
- G. Gordon Liddy


 

If I can go from burglar for the government to talk show host,
you can go from entertainer to congressman.
- G. Gordon Liddy

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime.
- G. Gordon Liddy

There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else


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I was born in very sorry circumstances.
Both of my parents were very sorry.
- Norman Wisdom

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well,
no, I was an accountant.
- Ellen DeGeneres

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath
toys were a toaster and a radio.
- Joan Rivers

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.
- Howard Nemerov

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy

Jesus was all right,
but his disciples were thick and ordinary.
It's them twisting it that ruins it for me.
- John Lennon

It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be;
and if it were so, it would be;
but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.
- Lewis Carroll

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar -
a practice which is still continued.
- Helen Rowland

If you want to test your memory, try to recall what
you were worrying about one year ago today.
- E. Joseph Cossman

If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow

What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Suppose you were an idiot,
and suppose you were a member of Congress;
but I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln

My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy

If we were to do the Second Coming of Christ
in color for a full hour,
there would be a considerable number of stations
which would decline to carry it on the grounds
that a Western or a quiz show would be more profitable.
- Edward R. Murrow

Some years ago I became president of Columbia University
and learned within 24 hours to be ready
to speak at the drop of a hat,
and I learned something more, the trustees were expected
to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice,
I would have English Channels round every country.
And the atmosphere would be such that
anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire.
- Winston Churchill

Since boredom advances and boredom is the root of all evil,
no wonder, then, that the world goes backwards, that evil spreads.
This can be traced back to the very beginning of the world.
The gods were bored; therefore they created human beings.
- Soren Kierkegaard

The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does
not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses.
They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton,
they laughed at the Wright brothers.
But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
- Carl Sagan

If you were a warrior,
you would know that the worst thing
one can do is confront human beings directly.
- Carlos Castaneda

If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap
whence everyone must take an equal portion,
most people would be contented to take their own and depart.
- Socrates

Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel

Live as if you were to die tomorrow.
Learn as if you were to live forever.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

We could never learn to be brave and patient,
if there were only joy in the world.
- Helen Keller

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back
and realize they were the big things.
- Robert Brault

Act as if it were impossible to fail.
- Dorthea Brande

The world moves, and ideas that were
once good are not always good.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

If self-validation were our
most significant societal measure -
we would give trophies to ourselves.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I won't miss you.
I will miss who I thought you were.
- Anonymous

I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller

The word "happiness" would lose its meaning
if it were not balanced by sadness.
- Carl Jung

You see things and you say, Why?
But I dream things that never were and say, Why not
- George Bernard Shaw

There are those that look at things
the way they are, and ask "Why?"
I dream of things that never were, and ask "Why not?"
- Robert F. Kennedy paraphrase of George Bernard Shaw

I was born on the prairies where the wind blew free
and there was nothing to break the light of the sun.
I was born where there were no enclosures.
- Geronimo

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp

There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child.
Things never get back to the way they were.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy

The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach

We were given:
Two hands to hold.
Two legs to walk.
Two eyes to see.
Two ears to listen.
But why only one heart?
Because the other was given to someone else.
For us to find.
- Anonymous

An Edwardian lady in full dress was a wonder to behold,
and her preparations for viewing were awesome.
- William Manchester

Half of everything you were ever taught is wrong;
the question is which half.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Growing up, my dolls were doctors and on secret missions.
I had Barbie Goes Rambo.
- Zoe Saldana

The best minds are not in government.
If any were, business would steal them away.
- Ronald Reagan

The only way for a rich man to be healthy is by exercise and abstinence,
to live as if he were poor.
- William Temple

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Both my mother and father were very supportive of any
career move any of us wanted to make.
- James Gandolfini

We act as though comfort and luxury
were the chief requirements of life,
when all that we need to make us really happy
is something to be enthusiastic about.
- Charles Kingsley

Doubt is part of all religion.
All the religious thinkers were doubters.
- Isaac Bashevis Singer

Family trips to Yellowstone and to what are now national parks in Southern Utah,
driving the primitive roads and cars of that day,
were real adventures.
- Paul D. Boyer

John Dalton's records, carefully preserved for a century,
were destroyed during the World War II bombing of Manchester.
It is not only the living who are killed in war.
- Isaac Asimov

If there were no schools to take the children away
from home part of the time,
the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
- Edward W. Howe

Were it left to me to decide whether we should
have a government without newspapers,
or newspapers without a government,
I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.
- Thomas Jefferson

Who were you before you put yourself last.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet
mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.
- Ernest Hemingway

If Botticelli were alive today he'd be working for Vogue.
- Peter Ustinov

Look at everything as though you were seeing it
either for the first or last time.
Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.
- Betty Smith

The human race's prospects of survival were considerably
better when we were defenceless against tigers than
they are today when we have become defenceless against ourselves.
- Arnold J. Toynbee

I wouldn't hunt a person down for food.
But if he were already dead.
- Yasmine Bleeth


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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