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Franklin Pierce Adams Quotes
Funny Quotes by Franklin Pierce Adams

Let these funny Franklin Pierce Adams Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

When a man you like switches from what
he said a year ago, or four years ago,
he is a broad-minded person who has courage enough
to change his mind with changing conditions.
When a man you don't like does it,
he is a liar who has broken his promise.
- Franklin Pierce Adams

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand PHOTO

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields PHOTO

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin PHOTO


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You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen


 

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln

The man who can smile when things go wrong
has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
- Robert Bloch

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway
is usually a poor judge of distance.
- Laurence J. Peter

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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