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Let these funny Edward Abbey Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey
Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)
I always like walking in the rain,
so no one can see me crying.
- Charlie Chaplin
My father considered a walk among the mountains
as the equivalent of churchgoing.
- Aldous Huxley
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My biggest dream is that my words will inspire heart,
hope and personal responsibility in people around the globe
long after my feet in these shoes aren't walking the planet.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Walking is good for solving problems -
it's like the feet are little psychiatrists.
- Pepper Giardino
If you are walking to seek, ye shall find.
- Sommeil Liberosensa
All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Walking is the best possible exercise.
Habituate yourself to walk very fast.
- Thomas Jefferson
Walking with a friend in the dark is better
than walking alone in the light.
- Helen Keller
Today, walking the beach, I was reminded of the bounty
of the earth in the form of wild blackberries -
a free feast, with no one else bothering to partake.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is no use walking anywhere to preach
unless our walking is our preaching.
- St. Francis of Assisi
There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.
- the character Morpheus in the movie The Matrix
Travelers, there is no path.
Paths are made by walking.
- Antonio Machado
Walking is Zen, sitting is Zen.
Then what will be the quality?
Watchfully alert, joyously unmotivated,
centered, loving, flowing, one walks.
And the walking is sauntering.
Loving, alert, watchful, one sits, unmotivated -
not sitting for anything in particular,
just enjoying how beautiful
just sitting doing nothing is,
how relaxing, how restful.
- Osho
My God, this is a hell of a job. I have no trouble with my enemies.
I can take care of my enemies all right.
But my damn friends, my goddamn friends.
They're the ones that keep me walking the floor at night.
- Warren G. Harding
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin
A question that sometimes drives me hazy:
am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
Life is a Crazy-Quilt of Suffering and Joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Any man who wants to be president
is either an egomaniac or crazy.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Every really new idea looks crazy at first.
- Alfred North Whitehead
If anyone is crazy enough to want to kill
a president of the United States, he can do it.
All he must be prepared to do is give his life for the president's.
- John F. Kennedy
When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives a solution
and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Dave Barry
"Pride" is one of those really crazy words,
and such a double-edged sword -
Self-Worth on one edge, and Ego on the other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I live in a crazy time.
- Anne Frank
Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung
Of course I am afraid. What sane man is not?
- Luciano Pavarotti
The only reason we don't open our hearts and minds to other people
is that they trigger confusion in us
that we don't feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with.
To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves,
we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes.
- Pema Chodron
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie 
It is our choices ... that show what we truly are,
far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling (Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets)
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
If we were to do the Second Coming of Christ
in color for a full hour,
there would be a considerable number of stations
which would decline to carry it on the grounds
that a Western or a quiz show would be more profitable.
- Edward R. Murrow
Martyrs cannot be silenced.
- the television show Star Trek: The Next Generation
Is it bigger than breadbox?
- the early television show Twenty Questions
The show must go on.
- Proverb
In the arena of human life,
the honors and rewards fall to those
who show their good qualities in action.
- Aristotle
The purpose of human life is to serve,
and to show compassion and the will to help others.
- Albert Schweitzer
We tell lies, yet it is easy to show that lying is immoral.
- Epictetus
Trust men and they will be true to you;
treat them greatly and they will show themselves great.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Show me a man who knows his own heart
and to him I shall belong.
- Jewel
The hardest of all, is learning to be
a well of affection, and not a fountain,
to show them that we love them,
not when we feel like it, but when they do.
- Nan Fairbrother
The thing the sixties did was to show us the possibilities
and the responsibility that we all had.
It wasn't the answer.
It just gave us a glimpse of the possibility.
- John Lennon
Difficulties show men what they are.
In case of any difficulty,
remember that God has pitted you
against a rough antagonist
that you may be a conqueror,
and this cannot be without toil.
- Epictetus
As our enemies have found, we can reason like men,
so now let us show them we can fight like men also.
- Thomas Jefferson
Difficulties are things that show a person what he is.
- Epictetus
We shall show mercy, but we shall not ask for it.
- Winston Churchill
When you find your path, you must not be afraid.
You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes.
Disappointment, defeat, and despair are
the tools God uses to show us the way.
- Paulo Coelho
People that seem so glorious are all show;
underneath they are like everyone else.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Outer show is a poor substitute for inner worth.
- Aesop
Don't dream it, be it.
- the movie Rocky Horror Picture Show
Dear Father in heaven, I'm not a praying man,
but if you're up there and you can hear me ...
show me the way... show me the way.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
The clearest way to show what the rule of law
means to us in everyday life
is to recall what has happened when there is no rule of law.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
You always feel better when you sing.
Music touches people's hearts.
You know, it doesn't go through your mental capacity,
it just moves you and it will let you cry.
It's worth it doing a show
and when you touch a crowd
and move yourself at the same
- Jewel
You are important. You are the star -
the only star - of your own life show.
Everyone else is a bit player in the great drama of your life.
Be of service to humanity, but never be anyone's doormat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our country is now taking so steady a course as to show
by what road it will pass to destruction,
to wit: by consolidation of power first,
and then corruption, its necessary consequence.
- Thomas Jefferson
I expect to pass through this world but once.
Any good therefore that I can do,
or any kindness that I can show to my fellow-creature,
let me do it now.
Let me not defer or neglect it,
for I shall not pass this way again.
- William Penn
Friendship must dare to risk, or it's not friendship.
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard in the TV show Star Trek: The Next Generation
Men's actions are too strong for them.
Show me a man who has acted,
and who has not been the victim
and slave of his action.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Our moments of inspiration are not lost
though we have no particular poem to show for them;
for those experiences have left an indelible impression,
and we are ever and anon reminded of them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.