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Let these funny Ecclesiastes Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
A new friend is like new wine;
when it has aged you will drink it with pleasure.
- Ecclesiastes 9:10
To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1
Be in peace with many,
but let one of a thousand be thy counsellor.
- Ecclesiastes 1:23
New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter
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Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher 
Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot
A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous
I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
I'll be out in a minute.
- the Woody Allen movie What's New Pussycat
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
Beware of all enterprises that require a new set of clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy
Books serve to show a man
that those original thoughts of his
aren't very new at all.
- Abraham Lincoln
I was so jazzed about sobering up
and starting a new life;
I had to stop at a bar
to get a drink just to calm down.
- the television series Glee
A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein
Move out of your comfort zone. You can only
grow if you are willing to feel awkward and
uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy
Try a new perspective on diversity.
Across the country and around the world,
we are all one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You are never too old to set another goal
or to dream a new dream.
- C. S. Lewis
I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton
We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell
Often, the greatest joy is to be found not in new things,
but in old things seen through new eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Another Sunrise, Another New Beginning.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Celebrate endings - for they precede new beginnings.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body
treats a strange protein; it rejects it.
- Peter Medawar
In order to discover new lands,
one must be willing to lose sight
of the shore for a very long time.
- Anonymous
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
- Carl Bard
You cannot discover new oceans unless
you have the courage to lose site of the shore.
- Anonymous
Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new.
- Henry David Thoreau
Nay, be a Columbus to whole new
continents and worlds within you,
opening new channels, not of trade, but of thought.
- Henry David Thoreau
What old people say you cannot do,
you try and find that you can.
Old deeds for old people, and new deeds for new.
- Henry David Thoreau
Incite a riot of new ideas.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches,
letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights.
- Pauline R. Kezer
Falling out of love is very enlightening.
For a short while you see the world with new eyes.
- Iris Murdoch
A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)
A ship in port is safe,
but that's not what ships are built for.
Sail out to sea and do new things.
- Grace Hopper
Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
- written on the Statue of Liberty in New York harbor
Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every generation laughs at the old fashions,
but follows religiously the new.
- Henry David Thoreau
Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn
Be a Columbus to whole new continents and worlds within you,
opening new channels, not of trade, but of thought.
- Henry David Thoreau
Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process,
gradually changing opinions,
slowly eroding old barriers,
quietly building new structures.
- John F. Kennedy
I get bored very easily, ...
I have a voracious appetite and I do not feel alive
if I'm repeating something I'm good at.
So I'm always looking for new challenges.
- Jewel
Dying is a wild night and a new road.
- Emily Dickinson
Love doesn't just sit there like a stone;
it has to be made,like bread,
remade all the time, made new.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
I can't understand why people
are frightened by new ideas.
I'm frightened of old ones.
- John Cage
The majority of men meet with failure
because of their lack of persistence
in creating new plans to take
the place of those which fail.
- Napoleon Hill
Each friend represents a world in us,
a world possibly not born until they arrive,
and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
- Anais Nin
A mind that is stretched by a new experience
an never go back to its old dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving
for my friends, the old and the new.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
We shall require a substantially
new manner of thinking
if mankind is to survive.
- Albert Einstein
Every really new idea looks crazy at first.
- Alfred North Whitehead
A mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Let everyone try and find that
as a result of daily prayer
he adds something new to his life,
something with which nothing can be compared.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
- Oprah Winfrey
Throw your dreams into space like a kite,
and you do not know what it will bring back,
a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.
- Anais Nin
If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino
This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best.
- William Arthur Ward
No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars,
or sailed to an uncharted land,
or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.
- Helen Keller
In the new economy, information, education,
and motivation are everything.
- William J. Clinton
Every increased possession
loads us with a new weariness.
- John Ruskin
I say beware of all enterprises that require new clothes,
and not rather a new wearer of clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Consider a new beginning with your family -
choose to take them less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
New Year's Day is every man's birthday.
- Charles Lamb
When men destroy their old gods,
they will find new ones to take their place.
- Pearl S. Buck
If a man does not make new acquaintances
as he advances through life,
he will soon find himself alone.
A man, sir, should keep his friendships in constant repair.
- Samuel Johnson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.