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Let these funny E. Joseph Cossman Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep.
- E. Joseph Cossman
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain 
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
I am easily satisfied with the very best.
- Winston Churchill
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Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter
Short words are best
and the old words, when short, are best of all.
- Winston Churchill
That's what Tiggers do best!
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.
- Jacqueline Schiff
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
- Abraham Lincoln
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- Somerset Maugham
The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Testing oneself is best when done alone.
- Jimmy Carter
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain
The best argument against democracy is
a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau
Be prepared for life -
to live happily and without regret,
knowing that you have done your best.
- the Boy Scout Handbook
Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is some good in the worst of us
and some evil in the best of us.
When we discover this,
we are less prone to hate our enemies.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham
I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein
The most erroneous stories are those
we think we know best -
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould
The best way to predict the future is to create it.
- Peter F. Drucker
You have to accept whatever comes
and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage
and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank
The best way to gain self-confidence
is to do what you are afraid to do.
- Anonymous
Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Dale Carnegie
Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
If we like what we do, if we always do our best,
then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don't get bored,
we don't have frustrations.
- don Miguel Ruiz
The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus
A leader is best when people barely know he exists;
when his work is done, his aim fulfilled,
they will say: we did it ourselves.
- Lao Tzu
A good example is the best sermon.
- Benjamin Franklin
He who is persistent will realize God.
So try your best to make meditation
a regular experience in your life.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
There are some things you learn best in calm,
and some in storm.
- Willa Cather
The best of a book is not the thought which it contains,
but the thought which it suggests;
just as the charm of music dwells not in the tones
but in the echoes of our hearts.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
Do the best you can. Be proud of your accomplishments -
without comparing yourself to others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One's philosophy is not best expressed in words;
it is expressed in the choices one makes...
and the choices we make
are ultimately our responsibility.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I did not wish to take a cabin passage,
but rather to go before the mast
and on the deck of the world,
for there I could best see
the moonlight amid the mountains.
I do not wish to go below now.
- Henry David Thoreau
We take care of the future best by taking care of the present now.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
I can not believe that war
is the best solution.
No one won the last war,
and no one will win the next war.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The best time to make friends is before you need them.
- Ethel Barrymore
A man is relieved and gay when he has
put his heart into his work and done his best;
but what he has said or done otherwise
shall give him no peace.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
One way or another, we all have to find
what best fosters the flowering of our humanity
in this contemporary life,
and dedicate ourselves to that.
- Joseph Campbell
When the best leader's work is done the people say,
"We did it ourselves."
- Lao Tzu
The best and most beautiful things in the world
cannot be seen or even touched.
They must be felt with the heart.
- Helen Keller
Everyone hears what you say.
Friends listen to what you say.
Best friends listen to what you don't say.
- Anonymous
Be yourself. There is nothing more for you to do
than to be the best YOU that you can be -
with no imitation, no pretense, no guilt, no shame.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The best is yet to come.
- Ernest Holmes
The success of a project is best predicted
by the enthusiasm of its participants.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.