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Let these funny Charles Dickens Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Credit is a system whereby a person who can't pay
gets another person who can't pay
to guarantee that he can pay.
- Charles Dickens
A happy New Year to all the world.
- Charles Dickens
This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth
I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police
because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
- Ilie Nastase
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Never call an accountant a credit to his profession;
a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
- Charles Lyell
What this country needs is a credit card for
charging things to experience.
- Tom Wilson
Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker
There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi
Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother
rather than all major credit cards.
- Robert Orben
It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France
Only aim to do your duty,
and mankind will give you credit where you fail.
- Thomas Jefferson
Friendship, like credit, is highest when it is not used.
- Elbert Hubbard
There is no limit to what a man can do
or where he can go,
if he doesn't mind who gets the credit.
- Robert Woodruff
It is amazing how much you can accomplish
when it doesn't matter who gets the credit.
- Anonymous
We are not to give credit to the many,
who say that none ought to be educated but the free;
but rather to the philosophers,
who say that the well-educated alone are free.
- Epictetus
It stands to the everlasting credit of science
that by acting on the human mind
it has overcome man's insecurity
before himself and before nature.
- Albert Einstein
The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression
and cruelty by the bad people
but the silence over that by the good people.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The universal Mind contains all knowledge.
It is the potential ultimate of all things.
To it, all things are possible.
- Ernest Holmes
Love is the only reality and it is not a mere sentiment.
It is the ultimate truth that lies at the heart of creation.
- Rabindranath Tagore
The ultimate inspiration is the deadline.
- Nolan Bushnell
The ultimate authority must always rest
with the individual's own reason and critical analysis.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
The sound of 'gentle stillness' after all the thunder
and wind have passed will be the ultimate Word from God.
- Jim Elliot
Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children
of the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.
- Napoleon Hill
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Compassion is the ultimate value in life.
Service is the ultimate action.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love is the ultimate meaning of everything around us.
Love is not a mere sentiment.
Love is the ultimate truth at the heart of creation.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Love is not a mere sentiment.
Love is the ultimate truth at the heart of creation.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Love is the ultimate truth at the heart of creation.
- Rabindranath Tagore
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands
in moments of comfort and convenience,
but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
War is the ultimate tool of politics.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Peace is the ultimate blessing.
- Jewish traditional
The ultimate test of a man's conscience
may be his willingness to sacrifice something today
for future generations whose words of thanks will not be heard.
- Gaylord Nelson
The whole world is a cyclone.
But once you have found the center, the cyclone disappears.
This nothingness is the ultimate peak of consciousness.
- Osho
I know of no safe depository of the ultimate powers
of the society but the people themselves;
and if we think them not enlightened enough to exercise
their control with a wholesome discretion,
the remedy is not to take it from them but to inform their discretion.
- Thomas Jefferson
The great gift of Easter is hope -
Christian hope which makes us have that confidence in God,
in his ultimate triumph, and in his goodness and love,
which nothing can shake.
- Basil C. Hume
When you cry and weep,
when you are miserable,
you are alone.
When you celebrate,
the whole existence participates with you.
Only in celebration
do we meet the ultimate, the eternal.
Only in celebration
do we go beyond the circle of birth and death.
- Osho
Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience,
independent will and creative imagination.
These give us the ultimate human freedom...
The power to choose, to respond, to change.
- Stephen Covey
Truth cannot be defined,
although it can certainly be experienced.
But experience is not a definition.
A definition is made by the mind,
experience comes through participating.
If somebody asks, "What is a dance?" how can you define it?
But you can dance and you can know the inner feel of it.
God is the ultimate dance.
- Osho
When you open up to the ultimate,
immediately it pours into you.
You are no longer an ordinary human being -
you have transcended.
Your insight has become the
insight of the whole existence.
Now you are no longer separate -
you have found your roots.
- Osho
It is not our place to know the mind of God.
Spirit knows what is best in the long run -
best for each of us individually,
and best for humanity as a whole.
This is often very difficult to accept
when we see war and disease in the world
and experience physical and emotional suffering
in ourselves, our family, and our friends.
I consider this belief in God's infinite power
and ultimate wisdom to be the true test of faith.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The greatest battle of all is simply... Life.
This is no child's game. This is the big one -
the Super Bowl - the Game of all games.
The rules of Life are unwritten and unknown.
Perhaps, one could say that there are no rules.
The Judge has ultimate power.
She can call the game at any time - for any reason.
The penalties in the Game are completely arbitrary -
in both timing and severity.
Penalty for what, we ask?
The Judge is silent.
How can I win the Game?
"You can never win," comes the answer,
"So just take pleasure in playing the Game."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon,
but that we wait so long to begin it.
- Anonymous
There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child.
Things never get back to the way they were.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Life is not a tragedy, it is a comedy.
To be alive means to have a sense of humor.
- Osho
The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives.
- Albert Schweitzer
In human intercourse the tragedy begins,
not when there is misunderstanding about words,
but when silence is not understood.
- Henry David Thoreau
You have a choice about the perspective you take on life.
See tragedy, and the world is tragic -
see beauty, and the world is beautiful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The effort to understand the universe is one
of the very few things that lifts human life
a little above the level of farce,
and gives it some of the grace of tragedy.
- Steven Weinberg
The courage of life is often a less dramatic spectacle
than the courage of a final moment;
but it is no less a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy.
- John F. Kennedy
The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal.
The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.
- Benjamin E. Mays
History will have to record that the greatest tragedy
of this period of social transition
was not the strident clamor of the bad people,
but the appalling silence of the good people.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
There is no short cut to achievement.
Life requires thorough preparation -
veneer isn't worth anything.
- George Washington Carver
We hardly ever realize that we can
cut anything out of our lives,
anytime, in the blink of an eye.
- Carlos Castaneda
Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers,
who can cut through argument, debate, and doubt
to offer a solution everybody can understand.
- Colin Powell
The River of Life knows no obstacles.
The River can cut through solid rock - in its own time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The River of Life can cut through solid rock - in its own time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everywhere I look, I see the evidence of a creator.
But I don't see it as religion,
which has cut Irish people in two.
I don't see Jesus Christ as being
in any part of a religion.
Religion to me is almost like when God leaves -
and people devise a set of rules to fill the space.
- Bono
The River of Life has no judgments.
The River flows with no concept of good and bad - right and wrong.
The fields and dreams of men may be nourished by the River of Life,
or flooded and covered with silt, and the River just flows.
Men may catch fish and live on the River of Life,
or they may founder in a storm and drown, and the River just flows.
The River of Life is timeless.
It is not unchanging, but it is timeless,
and it changes in its own time.
The River of Life knows no obstacles.
The River can cut through solid rock - in its own time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This physical world is to our imagination as ice is to water -
pure water forms pure ice - dirty water forms dirty ice.
Consider how much easier it is to purify water before it freezes
than it is to chip the impurities from the solid ice.
So also, it is much easier to purify your thoughts
before they manifest into physical reality,
than to try to cut the cancerous impurities from solid reality
after you have manifested your thoughts into physical form.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The task of the modern educator
is not to cut down jungles,
but to irrigate deserts.
- C.S. Lewis
Whenever I find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.
- Anonymous
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
- Anonymous
Free-Will is the key to the prison of the mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
Better learn balance. Balance is key.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
There is a secret wisdom-of-the-ages
that holds the key to breaking
our cycle of self-imposed suffering.
The secret wisdom is,
"Life is not supposed to be fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The key to happiness is having dreams.
The key to success is making your dreams come true.
- Anonymous
Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom.
- George Washington Carver
One important key to success is self-confidence.
An important key to self-confidence is preparation.
- Arthur Ashe
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.