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Let these funny Bill Cosby Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
- Bill Cosby
People can be more forgiving than you can imagine.
But you have to forgive yourself.
Let go of what's bitter and move on.
- Bill Cosby
You can't be everything to everyone.
- Bill Cosby
I don't know the key to success,
but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.
- Bill Cosby
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Through humor, you can soften some
of the worst blows that life delivers.
And once you find laughter,
no matter how painful your situation might be,
you can survive it.
- Bill Cosby
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you
that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising
that tempt you to believe your critics are right.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson 
Distance does not decide who is your brother and who is not.
- Bono
Every man must decide whether he will
walk in the light of creative altruism
or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Were it left to me to decide whether we should
have a government without newspapers,
or newspapers without a government,
I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.
- Thomas Jefferson
Decide questions without regard for tradition -
one way or the other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Strength does not come from winning.
Your struggles develop your strengths.
When you go through hardships
and decide not to surrender,
that is strength.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Truth is not defined by
how many people believe something.
Ask. Question. Think.
Decide - for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most difficult thing is the decision to act,
the rest is merely tenacity.
The fears are paper tigers.
You can do anything you decide to do.
You can act to change and control your life;
and the procedure, the process is its own reward.
- Amelia Earhart
The indispensable first step to getting
the things you want out of life is this:
Decide what you want.
- Ben Stein
I make my own choices.
I decide what I will and will not do.
I am proud of my independence.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.
- Flora Whittemore
This life is what you make it.
Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes,
it's a universal truth.
But the good part is,
you get to decide how you're going to mess it up.
Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway.
But just remember, some come, some go.
The ones that stay with you through everything -
they're your true best friends.
Don't let go of them.
Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world.
- Marilyn Monroe
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
Having two bathrooms ruined the capacity to co-operate.
- Margaret Mead
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln
The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick
There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi
I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy
My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years
to have breakfast together,
but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
- Winston Churchill
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather
Every tomorrow has two handles.
We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety
or the handle of faith.
- Henry Ward Beecher
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
Prejudice is a two-edged sword.
Like the steel sort of sword, it's very sharp, very useful,
and very dangerous if not properly mastered.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Sadness is but a wall between two gardens.
- Khalil Gibran
Understanding is a two-way street.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated;
you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
- David Lloyd George
There are two kinds of failures:
those who thought and never did,
and those who did and never thought.
- Laurence J. Peter
There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth
- not going all the way and not starting.
- The Buddha
Cause and effect are two sides of one fact.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Winners must have two things:
definite goals and a burning desire to achieve them.
- Anonymous
Pride comes in two flavors -
be careful which you choose -
choose honor, not ego.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I ...
I took the one less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference.
- Robert Frost
If there are dreams about a beautiful South Africa,
there are also roads that lead to their goal.
Two of these roads could be named Goodness and Forgiveness.
- Nelson Mandela
Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.
- Aristotle
Peace and justice are two sides of the same coin.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
At the beginning and at the end of love,
the two lovers are embarrassed to find themselves alone.
- Jean de la Bruyere
Two little words that can make the difference: START NOW.
- Mary C. Crowley
Friendship is one mind in two bodies.
- Mencius
You can make more friends in two months
by becoming interested in other people
than you can in two years by trying
to get other people interested in you.
- Dale Carnegie
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
- Aristotle
There are two lasting bequests we can give our children
One is roots, the other is wings.
- Hodding Carter
Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two persons
to promote the good and happiness of one another.
- Eustace Budgell
I had three chairs in my house;
one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.
- Henry David Thoreau
There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth;
not going all the way, and not starting.
- The Buddha
This is the answer to all questions about relationship.
When two people sing their lives in harmony,
their lives are grand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As a rock star, I have two instincts,
I want to have fun, and I want to change the world.
I have a chance to do both.
- Bono
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.